Are you one of the many ladies and gay men who saw those Justin Bieber Calvin Klein photos and thought, “Wow, he is truly packing some man-heat. Maybe some of that blood pumping through his giant D is going upstairs and he actually has a functioning brain”? (I’m raising my hand sheepishly.)
Bad news: We have been deceived.
The website BreatheHeavy has obtained the unretouched photos that reveal Justin Bieber received a pretty thorough Photoshop job.
Calvin Klein made Bieber’s pecs bigger.
It made his abs bigger.
It even—brace yourself—augmented the size of his package.
Quel horreur! Is nothing sacred anymore? To paraphrase Spice World, we’ve been living a meaningless lie.
BreatheHeavy.com has crashed now, presumably as the result of increased traffic from BieberDick truthers.
Take a look at the before-and-after GIF below. You can tell how these wily Photoshoppers increased the size of the pop tartlet’s hands, pecs, biceps, and yes, sadly, his package. They also decreased the size of Bieber’s head, I guess, to make him look more muscular? The end result: It kinda looks like they placed Bieber’s dome on the body of an German ’90s alt-porn star.
As TMZ points out, Calvin Klein also gave Bieber body hair, giving him a happy trail, or a “digital pelvic merkin,” in the final retouched photos with model Lara Stone. So yeah, this boy has not quite become a man yet. Maybe an impromptu bar mitzvah will do the trick (or growth hormones, either one.)This is obviously a sad day for celebrity dong-watchers all over the Internet. So let’s take a few minutes to mourn the few days this week where we actually found Justin Bieber attractive. RIP, week of Jan. 5–9. You will be sorely missed.
H/T Defamer | Photo via Justin Bieber/Instagram