The answer, it turned out, was a yard sale.
Having already let Google map out the Colbert Report's 54th Street studio on Street View, Colbert's staffers spread out across New York City, posting flyers announcing a yard sale filled with patriotic knickknacks.
A montage of tables displayed products like Vax-Anus, Beatles dolls, illustrations of Colbert as Lincoln, and even a statuette of Colbert as Captain America. There was Colbert-ified Newsweek cover, a framed "Truthiness" cross-stitch, and a "mind-reading helmet."
As skeptical New Yorkers eyed these and other Colbert Report keepsakes, Colbert offered one man the mind-reading helmet for a dollar.The yard sale was cash-only. As Colbert asked a potential buyer in exasperation, "You bring credit cards to a yard sale?"
No matter. Colbert was happy to take down the man's credit card number, Social Security number, mother's maiden name, ATM PIN, and other obviously necessary details.
Judging by the post-purchase interviews with Colbert's customers, the yard sale was as successful as the show it helped conclude.
Screengrab via The Colbert Report/Comedy Central