Over the years, the review section of Amazon—muchlikeYelp's—has evolved beyond serving as a public forum for customers to recount their past experiences with a particular product.
Whereas before, this space was used as a guide to assist or alert potential buyers about a given item, it has now become a source of great hilarity. It has transformed into a place where Internet users can display their wit and comedic chops.
There are multiple reasons why an Amazon product would attract hilarious, trolling reviews. Sometimes the item brings it upon itself, whether it be because of a company's poor marketing or because of the absurdity of its price. At other moments, a well-known figure—let's hypothetically say a presidential candidate—makes a stupid comment in front of millions that thrusts said product into the forefront.
Whatever the case may be, Amazon-trolling product reviews are hilarious. For your viewing pleasure, we've compiled 10 of the best ones.
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We're still not entirely sure how or why this magical kitchen utensil drew the attention of the reviewers, but we're sure glad they took notice. (Click to embiggen.)
2) Blue Raspberry Rock Candy Crystals
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When your product uncannily resembles the blue crystal meth cooked up by Walter White and Jesse Pinkman in the hit AMC series Breaking Bad, you best believe that people are going to notice.
Some, like drug dealer Tuco Salamanca, will attest to its purity.
Not everyone's a fan, however. A so-called Heisenberg is less than pleased that Dryden & Palmer, the company behind the candy, are cutting into his turf. Best watch out, guys. Heisenberg is known to kill those who threaten his livelihood.
3) Binders
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One of the lowest points in Mitt Romney's presidential campaign came after he uttered the term "binders full of women." For those who missed the debates, the GOP candidate used the now-ubiquitous phrase to refer to how he selected female cabinet members while he was governor of Massachusetts. The gaffe may have cost Romney a few votes, but it also spawned a hilarious series of pro-feminist binder reviews.
4) Bic "Cristal for Her" Ball Pen
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Speaking of justifiably angry reviewers, this poorly thought-out product—someone in marketing was surely fired for this—drew ire and dripping sarcasm in full force.
5) Playmobil Security Check Point
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Fact: One of the worst experiences any human can have is to be stuck in line for hours at an airport security checkpoint. It's like one notch below waterboarding.
For whatever reason, toymaker Playmobil thought it would be a great idea to make a toy depicting everyone's least favorite travel activity. Thankfully, the reviewers put these guys in their place.
6) Maisto Metal Drone Toy Replica
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Hot Wheels aren't cool. You know what's cool? A miniature toy version that glorifies a military machine responsible for the deaths of many across the Middle East.
7) AudioQuest Diamond HDMI Cable
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Sometimes you just have to have the best resolution. How else will you be able to enjoy the 1080p crispness of the Jack and Jill Blu-Ray? To have the highest quality, you need to spend top-dollar, like this-HDMI-cable-cost-more-than-my-TV-did top dollar.
8) Sharp Provolone Piccante Cheese (Whole Wheel)
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Much like the banana peeler on this list, we're not entirely sure why the snarky and clever reviewers chose to litter this product's page with hilarious comments.Then again,the notion of buying a whole 60-pound wheel of cheese via Amazon is pretty ridiculous itself.
9) Uranium Ore
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Sure, it's extremely disconcerting that you can purchase radioactive uranium from the same place you get the novelty item "Liquid Ass." But then again, if this admittedly terrifying product weren't available on the giant online retailer, we'd be deprived of these amazing (and nerdy) product reviews.
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Of course we were going to end our list with the epic Three Wolf Moon shirt. Even if this bad boy, which had its first laugh-inducing review on November 2008, isn't the first to originate the comical and satirical format, it's one of the most popular. As of this writing, it has garnered more than 2,000 reviews, the bulk of them exalting the almost magical and mythical powers of the shirt.
