Ice Cube’s made quite a name for himself as a family-friendly movie star, and last night, he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote his new film, 22 Jump Street.

However, those who knew Ice Cube before he was a movie star perhaps remember a different side, maybe from his 1991 solo album, Death Certificate, or his time in the group N.W.A. Kimmel questioned him about just how angry he'd be if he had to read lines about lavender body wash. 

The best part of the video might be how angry it made Ice Cube to work with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum:

“Wouldn’t they piss you off?”

Probably!

Screengrab via JimmyKimmelLive/YouTube

It goes without saying, but Hodor would be a terrible game-show contestant on any show that requires him to speak.

Jimmy Kimmel spliced the lovable oaf from Game of Thrones in with one of the worst Family Feud displays in recent memory. And the result? Despite Hodor’s best efforts to do his duty to his family, the survey said that nobody ever answered “Hodor” to any of the questions.

But if you know the rules of Family Feud, you’ll know this isn’t necessarily Hodor’s fault. It’s the family’s for putting him up there in the first place. Even if they only needed 18 points to win $20,000, they should’ve put up anyone else, or someone who knows more than one word. That’s an easy call even the Starks would’ve made.

Shocked? Upset? They should’ve known better.

H/T The Daily Beast | Photo via Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube

What would Beyoncé's songs sound like without the music, dancing, and Auto-Tune?

They would sound pretty great, actually. Assuming they are being performed by Nina Millin.

Millin is the creator of "Beyoncelogues," a series of YouTube videos in which she performs Queen Bey's music as dramatic, spoken-word monologues. According to Esquire, she came up with the idea after butchering Beyoncé's songs at a karaoke performance.

Millin's delivery of the word "irreplaceable" has just as much power, if not more, than when Beyoncé soulfully drags it out to her signature, five-second-long pronunciation. 

"I think I misunderstood how beloved Beyoncé is," she told Esquire. "I think we're really on to something here."

While Millin only has three Beyoncelogues posted, she definitely aims to do more. Maybe she will branch out and include other musicians in her repertoire (who wouldn't want to see a dramatic reading of, for example, Gangnam Style?).

Millin joins a long list of people with theatrical backgrounds who have turned popular music into memorable spoken-word art. She follows in the footsteps of such legends as this guy, whom you might have heard of.

H/T Jezebel | Screengrab via Little Bobo/YouTube

Nick Offerman, the brilliant comedian who plays the small government-loving, furry mustache-having, oak-cutting Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation, showed up at the Radio and Television Correspondents' Association Dinner on Thursday night. In front of Washington D.C.’s media establishment, he decided it was the perfect time for a lecture on the toxic realities of D.C., the ramifications of gun legistation, and a brief Bill of Rights refresher course.

The correspondents’ dinner has a long, beautiful tradition of comedians taking D.C. to task. Most memorably, Stephen Colbert’s 2006 roast of the capital set the bar high for all who followed.

By the way, if you’re missing Offerman’s trademark mustache during his remarks, it’s only temporarily missing. The furry thing has better representation, the actor explained, so it’s currently involved in a soda ad campaign down in Brazil during the World Cup.

Ah, that makes sense.

H/T Gawker | Screengrab via Douglas Barclay/YouTube

Being a celebrity is hard: Think about all the existential questions it brings up.

For instance, Dave Chappelle recently sat down with Jimmy Fallon to talk about all the fake Dave Chappelles on Twitter and Facebook. If those guys are funny and starting fights with other comedians, then what does that leave for the real Dave?

The fake Chappelle, who it turns out can be pretty evil, won’t even accept the real one’s friend request. Poor real Dave. Also, poor fake Dave. Talk about a missed opportunity.

Chappelle then found out that all the other comedians on Twitter and Facebook were imposters as well, leaving him questioning reality at all angles.

Screengrab via the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon/YouTube

With the endless stream of articles about police brutality, corruption, and outright incompetence, it can be hard to remember that most cops are just ordinary people tasked with an extraordinary job—and fully entitled to blow off some steam on occasion.

How do officers of the law in Rosenberg, Texas, kill time in the patrol car between calls? By lip-synching to their favorite trashy pop songs, obviously. Here we’re treated to a casually masterful rendition of Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” that proves police “really are no different than anyone else.” (Except for how hard they rock those wraparound shades, maybe.)

But the Rosenberg police department’s musical talents don’t stop there: another recent YouTube upload features Sgt. Ariel Soltura’s killer Vanilla Ice impression. 

Soltura also made headlines in January when a dash cam video of him stopping to throw a football with a lonely local youth made the rounds online. Great cop or greatest cop?

Still wouldn’t want to be arrested by this crew, but we get the feeling they’d be nice about it.

Photo via Rosenberg Police/YouTube  

Pulp Fiction celebrates its 20th anniversary this year, which should make some of us feel really old. Last week, Samuel L. Jackson stopped by The Graham Norton Show for a chat. When Norton asked if he still remembers his fire-and-brimstone speech from the movie, in which recites a passage from Ezekiel 25:17, he said yes, and proceeded to recite it, allegedly from memory, as Keira Knightley looked on.

READ MORE:
Reporter suddenly realizes Samuel L. Jackson and Laurence Fishburne are not the same person
 

Jackson was asked to recite it to the theoretical man who might pick up his daughter for a date, which somehow makes it more terrifying.

I've got to agree with Time's Nolan Feeney here: I'd read the Bible if Jackson narrated it. 

Screengrab via BBC/YouTube

Lois Lowry’s The Giver, a YA novel set in an apparent utopia that turns out to have sinister foundations, was destined for the screen from the moment it was released in 1993. But it took more than 20 years for Hollywood to adapt it, and the resulting film, due in August, looks far too reliant on the conventions and fads of its own moment.

Fans of the book are already moaning about changes that appear to bring the story more in line with popular YA dystopias of the moment—the worlds depicted in franchises like The Hunger Games and Divergent. Where Lowry’s society had a somewhat rustic, technophobic feel, the movie’s sleek sets and props could have been designed by Apple or Google.

The Weinstein Company’s viral marketing for the project, meanwhile, is a fascinatingly craven attempt to monetize the twee visual aesthetic of a Tumblr or Instagram account. As Jonas, The Giver’s protagonist, begins to receive memories of the complicated universe his people have shunned, the images that flit through his mind bear all the hallmarks of Web 2.0 photography: sharply saturated colors, overpowering filters, an emphasis on laughably forced joie de vivre. Think running and jumping and nature and sunsets and fireworks.

The funny part is that the popularity of this palette has engendered a bland conformity not unlike that criticized in The Giver: a staggering percentage of Tumblr accounts exist to reblog soft shots of fogged-over lakeside forests and coffee foam art, with very few people interested in developing a signature style. For many, the blogging platform is a safe, cocoon-like space, where nothing ugly or triggering may trespass. 

That’s not a bad thing in and of itself, and Tumblr certainly hosts plenty of spirited debate about big, tough issues. Still, it’s jarring to see a quietly philosophical text like The Giver—which reminds the reader that fighting for the full range of human experience means taking the bad with the good—recast as a teen thriller in which “emotion” is equated with access to a stream of pretty but meaningless images. Sounds like a dystopia all its own.  

Photo via thegivermemory.tumblr.com

Can a robot born to draw experience desire or jealousy? Vimeo’s Staff Picks strike again with animator Scott Thierauf’s animated short, Desire, in which a small red robot is assigned a drawing task, only to find there are bigger, faster robots doing the same job.

The plot is described as such:

“A small robot is born and sets out into the world, happily performing his simple tasks. Suddenly, in a small but profound way, the world as he knows it changes. What follows is a downward spiral of jealousy, resentment and unrestrained desire.”

It’s essentially a music video with a narrative, which is what Vimeo’s been expertly curating lately. The cycle of competition and one-upmanship certainly resonates in the Internet age.

H/T Digg | Screengrab via Scott Thierauf/Vimeo

Warning: This article contains spoilers for Game of Thrones.

Still overwhelmed by last night’s Game of Thrones?

It was an episode packed to the brim with big moves, fights, and multiple deaths—even though it didn’t include a twist from the books—and while you’re caught up in the frenzy of what you’re watching and live-tweeting, it’s easy to miss out on some of the smaller details the first time around.

The show is full of slow-burn plots, and this episode saw plenty of them. Arya Stark used an iron coin given to her two seasons ago by the faceless assassin Jaqen H'ghar and Bran Stark finally met with the Three-Eyed Raven in human form, who’s been contacting him since the first season.

But even with those plots coming to fruition (with many more probably not paying off until next year), there are plenty of small and clever nods throughout, and not just the mere coincidence of Tyrion Lannister committing patricide on Father’s Day.

We’ve found some of the subtler points in “The Children” sure to truly give you an even bigger appreciation for the finale—and the sheer amount of detail put into each episode.

1) Oberyn Martell got his revenge beyond the grave.

Oberyn, the Prince of Dorne who quickly became a fan favorite only to die seeking revenge for his sister’s death at the hands of the Mountain, may have found a way to kill the man who “raped her, murdered her, and killed her children.”

Just look at this scene from “The Mountain and the Viper.” While we’re paying more attention to Oberyn and Ellaria Sand’s tender moment, Oberyn’s squire is busy cleaning the spear he is to use during the Trial by Combat.

Or is he? Oberyn’s nickname, the Red Viper, is known throughout Westeros, and Tywin Lannister in particular mentioned Oberyn’s affinity for poisons when trying to recruit him as a judge.

In “The Children,” we see the Mountain in great pain, suffering from the effects of being poisoned by Oberyn’s spear, and the scene with the squire may be the very instance when we saw the poison applied. Grand Maester Pycelle thinks he’s a goner, but Qyburn has other plans.

2) Littlefinger foreshadowed Shae and Tywin’s death.

At first glance, Littlefinger is comforting Robin Arryn after his mother’s “suicide” and explaining how anyone can die at any moment, and that everyone dies eventually.

Photo via Imgur

But now that we have the finale on our hands, that throwaway line has a lot more weight to it—and foreshadows multiple deaths.

“People die at their dinner tables” could be either the Red Wedding or Purple Wedding. King Joffrey, Robb Stark, and Catelyn Stark were all at the tables when the attacks started, but it’s of smaller importance since those events already happened.

However, “they die in their beds, they die squatting over their chamber pots” is a lot more interesting. Just two episodes later, Tyrion strangles Shae after finding her in Tywin’s bed, one last stab to his already broken heart, and shoots Tywin with a crossbow while he’s in the privy.

One (or many) at the table, one in the bed, one on a chamber pot. Littlefinger’s unintended prophecy revealed. It’s something knowing book readers hinted at in forums, but it doesn’t mean the payoff was diminished any by knowing.

3) The Breaker of Chains being the chainer of dragons.

Daenerys Targaryen’s entire schtick since season 3 was to free the slaves in the different cities in Essos. She gained the Unsullied at Astapor and received a crowd-surfing welcome at Yunkai, but Meereen’s reception hasn’t been so friendly. There was enough unrest that she decided to stay and rule as queen.

Earlier in the season Daenerys gave a man gold after Drogon, her black dragon, killed his goats, but she couldn’t really do the same when a man came in with the burned skeleton of his 3-year-old daughter, also at the hand of Drogon.

She refused to sell a man back into the chains of slavery earlier in the episode, but now she had to go back on her own word: She chained her other two dragons, her children, in order to prevent more deaths.

Breaker of Chains? Well, not for her own kids.

4) Jojen Reed saw his own death—and the Children of the Forest’s rescue.

Even casual viewers noticed that the closer to the Weirwood tree Bran, Jojen and Meera Reed, and Hodor got, the sicker Jojen became.

While they were captured at Craster’s Keep, Jojen reassured Bran and Meera that they wouldn’t die there and would make it to the Weirwood tree. It’s not the end for you, he said.

When asked they would know the end by Meera, Jojen looks at his hand. It’s on fire, something only he can see.

“You’ll know,” he answers.

True to Jojen’s word, they make it to the Weirwood tree in the finale, but he doesn’t. He’s stabbed by a Wight in the stomach and then one of the Children of the Forest throws a fireball where he and the Wights lay.

5) Stannis Baratheon to the rescue.

People may finally be on Team Stannis after he came to the aid of Jon Snow and the Night’s Watch, but it wasn’t completely out of left field for the one character who’s frustrated plenty of fans.

It first started after Davos Seaworth received a distress letter from Samwell Tarly last season. It’s one Sam sent to all of the kings because for him, it didn’t matter which one was legitimate as long as someone came with aid against the Wildlings and White Walkers.

It’s the saving grace that saved Davos from execution, and while they didn’t immediately set sail, they’ve been carefully plotting all season—most particularly, heading off to Braavos to get a loan from the Iron Bank. It gave them the means and supplies to travel north and eventually come to their aid.

So when Stannis and Davos are revealed at the helm of the army, it’s not only a relief, it’s a celebration of a character finally getting his due.

Screengrabs via HBO Go

In the near future, artificial intelligence could design itself to be better, stronger, and faster than humanity and destroy us all.

So says Stephen Hawking in a interview with John Oliver, who continues to supply us with excellent Monday morning material from his Sunday night talk show, Last Week Tonight. His interview with the renowned theoretical physicist at Cambridge is part of the show’s “People Who Think Good” series, and from the title alone, you know it’s going to be enlightening.

In addition to questions about artificial intelligence and imaginary time, Oliver asks Hawking how he would deal with a rogue drug dealer (to test his “street smarts”), and whether, in a parallel universe, he could date Charlize Theron. When he asks if Hawking might be a robot, Hawking zings back: "You're an idiot." 

Oliver’s show has quickly proven itself on par with late-night cable shows, in terms of the viral clips it produces. However, instead of celebrity jokes and gags, Oliver is actually addressing importantissues in a relatable way. His explanations of net neutrality and the evils of FIFA were two of the most referenced on the Web. When’s the last time that happened on late night?

Screengrab via Last Week Tonight With John Oliver/YouTube

As Jimmy Kimmel has repeatedly proven to the world, one of the best things about Twitter is that it democratizes insults.

If you want to tell millionaire NBA celebrities that they look homeless, you know they hear you loud and clear.

Technology is a beautiful thing, almost as beautiful as Paul George’s face when he’s giving us the finger for calling his name ugly.

We can at least all agree that Dikembe Mutombo would make a killer cookie monster.

Screengrab via Jimmy Kimmel/YouTube

The appeal of animated films like Frozen and How To Train Your Dragon has apparently crossed over to Netflix original programming. The company just ordered 12 episodes of Ever After High, a doll franchise from Mattel.

The series will chronicle the lives of the teenage offspring of fairytale characters like Snow White, Pinocchio, and Little Red Riding Hood, as the “royals” and “rebels” navigate high school. A movie version of the series, Ever After High: Spring Unsprung, will debut in early 2015, to be followed by the series.

“Today's kids want to watch their favorite characters anywhere and everywhere they are,” said Michael Riley, Mattel’s VP of franchise development and content distribution.

Ever After High does have a dedicated fandom of teenagers online, and Netflix is no doubt attempting to draw a younger demographic to the site. This follows up Netflix’s recent announcement that it will premiere an updated version of The Magic School Bus series, as well as a series based on the How To Train Your Dragon franchise.

H/T The Wrap | Screengrab via Ever After High/YouTube

My apologies, guys, but I’m gonna have to burst your bubble. Ryan Gosling has not adopted a baby. Sorry.

It sounded so perfect. The Internet is a cruel and capricious mistress, but there are a few choice subjects that can can reliably turn Netizens’ hearts to putty: kittens, Jennifer Lawrence, bacon—and, of course, Ryan Gosling. So enamored is the Web with the movie star that memes spring up like weeds about him, from Feminist Ryan Gosling to Ryan Gosling Won't Eat His Cereal.

And so the Internet positively exploded with excitement when everyone's favorite heartthrob announced on Facebook—on Father’s Day, no less—that he had adopted a child, and what’s more, he’d managed to keep it a secret for a year.

“This little guy was only 9 months old when I became his dad,” the post read, alongside a photo of Gosling holding a child. “His mom and I were great friends before she passed away from cancer. I promised her, I’d always look after him. So, I had decided to step up and become his dad.”

“1 year later after the adoption, his biological father wanted him,” it continues; “Of course, I put up a fight, but he won. That 1 year of being his father taught me how to love unconditionally."

The reaction was overwhelming, with the photo racking up almost 1 million likes and gushing comments like “my ovaries just exploded,” before Facebook took it down. Why? Because it’s just not true.

For one, the now-deleted Facebook page that posted it, RealRyanGosling, is fake. For the record, RyanGoslingOfficial is also not affiliated with the movie star, nor is Ryan-Gosling: If in doubt, look for the blue verified check mark.

Despite almost 650,000 followers, Instagram account Ryan_Gosling is not official either. Gosling does have a verified Twitter page, @RyanGosling—though it’s rarely used. 

There’s also the sheer implausibility of the story: In the modern 24-hour news age, it’s inconceivable that a high-profile celeb like Gosling could adopt and keep a child for a year without someone getting wind of it. If the Croatian football team can’t take a bath without paparazzi around, what chance does one of the world’s sexiest men have of going through a lengthy custody battle in perfect secrecy?

As Luke O’Neil wrote for Vice recently, “life isn’t an endless series of highly bloggable coincidences”—if a story seems “SO PERFECT… [if it] inspires you to think, or tweet, “ALL OF MY THIS”? It’s fake. If it seems too good to be true, then it is.” However, The Independentreports that U.K. gossip rag Closer wasn’t able to apply even this basic level of critical reflection, and ran the hoax as a story—though they’ve since pulled their report. 

Then what’s the rationale behind the fake story? While trollish, self-congratulatory ego-stroking is no doubt is a strong driving force, there is a more prosaic motivation: money. Refinery29 points out that the post linked Gosling aficionados to a page where they could buy T-shirts purporting to support the Orphanage Home Foundation, along with the chance to meet Gosling.

As you’ve probably already guessed, the Orphanage Home Foundation does not exist.

The 33-year old Gosling has reportedly been dating model and actress Eva Mendes since 2012 (although no one’s quite sure what’s going on), but there’s definitely no hint of the pitter-patter of tiny feet. But if this hoax is anything to go by, should that day ever come, it may well push the Internet into total catastrophic meltdown.

H/T Refinery29 | Photo via AndyRobertsPhotos/Flickr (CC BY 2.0), Ryan Gosling photo via JJ Georges/Wikimedia Commons (CC BY SA 3.0) | Remix by Jason Reed

Finding musical inspiration when you’re a kid can be hard. You haven’t had that many life experiences just yet, so what do you sing about?

If you’re Jordan Bijan, now 6, you rap about cookies. In one minute, Jordan gives us the basics of writing a rap song, from the beat to the lyrics, which are mainly about cookies, cake, getting grounded, and having more street cred than Drake. The audio dub is bad. You want to look away, but you can’t.

This isn’t Jordan’s first musical production. Reddit has provided a link to his father Daniel’s YouTube page, which features many more clips of the “amazing” young Jordan performing covers of songs, as well as collaborating with his dad on covers. Is this just a ploy to get famous via his adorable child? Reddit thinks so, but they’ve been even more critical of the elder Bijan’s solo videos and his musical skills.

This certainly isn’t the first time a parent has attempted viral success by putting their child on YouTube. Hopefully, Jordan will find his own inspiration—and start writing more nuanced songs about cookies.

H/T Reddit | Screengrab via eBaum’s World/YouTube

An ankle injury to actor Harrison Ford may force serious delays in the filming schedule of the latest installment of Star Wars.

The San Jose Mercury Newsreports that Ford, known best within the Star Wars franchise for his portrayal of Han Solo, may miss six to eight weeks of filming after a hydraulic door in his character’s Millennium Falcon spaceship reportedly fell on him while the 71-year-old actor was filming in London.

Star Wars: Episode VII is currently slated for a Dec. 18, 2015, release, but Ford’s injury may put a lag on that schedule. Those associated with the film’s production are currently hoping that’s not the case.

Ford’s son told Access Hollywood that his father may need surgery to add a plate and a few screws to the bone to stabilize it. In the meantime, director J.J. Abrams is figuring out ways to shuffle around his schedule.

“It was hard to move things around, but now we have had more time to juggle things, bring some scenes forward and push others back,” a production source told London’s Daily Mirror. “There are lots of other actors in the movie, so it’s not a disaster. We are still confident the film can stay on schedule.”

Screenshot via list25/YouTube

The L.A. Kings beat the New York Rangers last Friday to win the Stanley Cup, and fans were really excited. A lot of bets were placed on the game, including one between NYC mayor Bill de Blasio and Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti. If the Kings won, de Blasio would have to sing “I Love L.A.” If the Rangers won, Garcetti would sing “New York, New York.”

This would all happen on Jimmy Kimmel Live, of course.

Well, de Blasio appeared on the show last night to honor that bet, and it was awkward. Via satellite, the mayor, accompanied by children from the 52nd Street Project in Manhattan, dove right into a karaoke version of the Randy Newman song. The kids all found the right groove, but de Blasio was always a few steps behind, making for a true “Daaaad, you’re embarrassing me” moment.

They didn’t do the whole song, which is actually a bit of satire directed at L.A.’s many contradictions. However, de Blasio did send out some Gray’s Papaya hot dogs, which Garcetti refused to eat, calling them “a steaming bag of New York garbage.” 

Screengrab via Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube

For nearly eight years, Brooklyn author Emily Schultz’s first novel languished on the charts. Joyland, a “coming-of-age tale set in a video-game arcade,” didn’t seem destined for the the best-seller list.

Then a year ago something strange happened. Sales for Schultz’s book spiked. More than 200 copies were purchased in a week.

That's because legendary horror writer Stephen King released a book with the same title.

On June 4, 2013, King released Joyland, in which “college student Devin Jones comes to work as a carny and confronts the legacy of a vicious murder, the fate of a dying child, and the ways both will change his life forever.”

“I asked Amazon to change their search results to keep people from buying the wrong book but never heard back,” Schultz wrote on Tumblr. “Apparently there were a lot of confused readers.” They also left her plenty of negative reviews.

Earlier this month, Schultz discovered just how popular her book had become. In the mail she had received a fat royalty check which has inspired her to start the blog $pending the $tephen King Money.

The blog features photos of Schultz spending $200 to fix her car bumper, $146 on a dinner, and $32.95 on two books.

“Sure, it's more a pleasant surprise than a fortune, and I'm stuck with those reviews, but I thought a blog detailing how we're spending the Stephen King money would be a nice way to end this funny and strange story,” Schultz wrote.

Photo by azrainman/Flickr (CC BY 2.0) and tracy_olson/Flickr (CC BY SA 2.0)| Remix by Fernando Alfonso III

The most popular photo on Instagram is currently Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's wedding photo, just to give you some idea of where we are as a culture. But that flood of likes apparently didn’t come easy.

West attended the Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity on June 17, and dropped a bomb on the audience: He and Kim worked for four days to make the photo look good enough for Instagram, after Annie Leibovitz allegedly pulled out as their wedding photographer a day before the event. West went on to describe the four days of absolute torture that went into perfecting a promotional photo for a nearly $3 million wedding:

“Let me tell you something about that kiss photo that my girl put up … this was pissing my girl off during the honeymoon, she was exhausted because we worked on the photo so much because Annie Leibovitz pulled out right before the wedding. I think that she was, like, scared of the idea of celebrity.”

That sentence contains multitudes, doesn’t it? He claimed the flowers in the photo were “off color,” and that they worked so hard on getting everything right because of “how important Kim is to the Internet." 

“And the fact the No. 1 most-liked photo [on Instagram] has a kind of aesthetic was a win for what the mission is, which is raising the palette.”

Something tells us Kim and Kanye had no problem looking at a photo of Kim and Kanye for four days.

.@fernalfonso fixed it. @twitney@dorseyshawpic.twitter.com/rIX4VBdymj

— Cooper Fleishman (@_Cooper) March 24, 2014

   Photo via Kim Kardashian/Instagram   

The Book of Mormon finally got its South Park due.

Both the musical and the series were created by Matt Stone and Trey Parker, but thanks to Simon Chong, we can now see the Mormon missionaries at work in the town of South Park, Colo., where their reception is pretty par for the course.

It’s a recreation of “Hello,” the show’s opening number, using the original cast recording. Chong's work not only manages to capture much of the choreography from Book of Mormon, it gets the same aesthetics as South Park down to even the smallest of details and makes us wish for a musical sequel to South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

It may be just a fan video, but Stone and Parker should hire this guy.

Photo via Simon Chong/YouTube