The X-Files revival has started production, and the cast and crew are sharing the first glimpse of Mulder and Scully back together again.

While photos from outdoor filming in Vancouver have already made their way online, teases from stars Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny are enough to start the fan chatter. The six-episode miniseries won’t make it to TV until January, but the truth is out there: It’s being made, nothing big has been revealed, and fans are excited as hell.

It’s been seven years since The X-Files: I Want to Believe, but Twitter and Instagram were nonessential or nonexistent when that was filmed. This time around, the behind-the-scenes looks are coming straight from them.

Photo via Gillian Anderson/Twitter

The new film sees Ethan Hawke and David Thewlis attempting to regress a confused and teary Emma Watson in order to find the truth about a mystery involving terrifying homicdal strangers in black masks and dark robes.

In other words, Remus Lupin gives Ethan Hawke a Time Turner to uncover Hermione's torture at the hands of the local Death Eater collective. Look, we didn't write this plot.

The attempt at unlocking her memories is eerily similar to Inception's famous mind invasion tricks, with shadows of The Sixth Sense and Shutter Island thrown in. Tortured, shabbily dressed protagonist? Check. Playing mentor to a confused younger woman? Check. Spooky hints that protagonist's brushes with reality may be deceptive? Check. 

Still, all that could be forgiven as recycled plot tropes if it weren't for the trailer's liberal copying of the Inception trailer. Just because every trailer has copied the Inception trailer for the last five years doesn't mean you need to go BWAHHHMing up your film when the plot is already begging comparisons.

Although the film's trailer doesn't tell us much—OK, really anything—about the plot, director Alejandro Amenabar (The Others, Abre Los Ojos) thrives on this kind of slow-paced, tense, atmospheric thriller. We're not sure what tricks he has up his sleeve, but who are we kidding? We saw Inception like eight times, we'll see this, too.

Screengrab via Movies Coming Soon/YouTube

While embarking on his extensive media tour touting the new Jurassic World movie, Chris Pratt has managed to lose a dinosaur trivia contest to a little kid bent on complete emasculation and has taught us all a little something about drunk acting. 

The natural byproduct of both those—inebriation combined with an ability to be completely humiliated by your choices in life—was given to us in the flesh when Pratt appeared at the film premiere's afterparty to sing "Margaritaville" with Jimmy Buffett and his Coral Reefer band.

Some clips of the performance from generous Instagram users.

And if you want the full six-minute experience.

Let's be honest: It's not the best performance from Pratt, who had a tendency to talk over a clearly game Buffett, and even more disappointing is the fact that somebody didn't replace the phone in Pratt's hand with a lime-infused, frozen drink.

Either way, Buffett had the right idea when he said, with all the sarcasm dripping down the mic stand, "Chris has left the movie business and he's going to be a rock star. Good luck with that one. Great career move."

Screengrab via Just Jared/YouTube

Rose will play Stella Carlin, a new heartthrob that catches the eye of both Piper and Alex. Online she’s catching everyone’s eye, snapping photos in exotic locales and sharing her own sense of style and self. 

The 28-year-old is heavily tattooed, although on Instagram she has revealed she’s getting some of her ink removed.

Rose identifies as gender fluid, and she created an eye-catching video where she transformed from feminine to masculine without leaving the screen. On Instagram she rallies for gender-neutral fashion options, including underwear, all while giving us her best Justin Bieber impression.

We can’t wait to learn even more about Rose and her character when season 3 of Orange Is the New Black premieres tomorrow.

No Seasons, the brainchild of Miami-based artists The Borscht Corp, Jillian Mayer and Lucas Leyva, chronicles the world of Miami through the lens of a fascinating man named Julian Yuri Rodriguez.

Over the course of eight episodes from MTV (other), MTV's short form digital studio, the series mixes Rodriguez's first-person perspective with film reenactments. The stories may sound unbelievable, but they're true dispatches from Rodriguez' life.

In the series premiere, Rodriguez recounts the time his boat was stolen, complete with post-toilet nudity, at least two guns, and, admittedly, a happy ending.

Watch the premiere exclusively on the Daily Dot before it premieres later today on MTV's digital channels.

Screengrab via MTV/YouTube

New Netflix original Grace and Frankie—in which Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda play 70-something frenemies whose husbands (played by Sam Waterston and Martin Sheen, respectively) leave them for each other— explores twilight years thrown into chaos, and Tomlin and Fonda anchor the emotional heft of the show. Though it has some missteps, seeing the two onscreen together feels like a victory. 

The show was co-created by Marta Kauffman, one of the creative forces behind Friends and Dream On. During a panel at the ATX Television Festival in Austin, Texas, Kauffman spoke about the creation of Grace and Frankie, dealing with misogyny from studio heads in the Friends days, and the question everyone needs to stop asking. (A reunion isn’t happening. Just stop.) 

After the show debuted last month, Fonda made a comment about how she and Tomlin got paid the same as Waterston (Sol) and Sheen (Robert), who aren’t the show’s main stars. Last week, a fan petition started circulating to help fix the alleged income inequality issue, which no doubt got more eyes on the show. (The actresses later clarified it was a joke.) 

While Tomlin’s hippie holdout Frankie and Fonda’s pinched, cashmere-clad Grace could not be more of a stereotypical odd couple, the actors give them a humanity and vulnerability. It’s a pretty smart move for Netflix: The show’s aimed at baby boomers but has picked up younger fans, like Miley Cyrus.

But some elements haven’t settled yet: The characters of Sol and Robert still seem too tentative, and their adult children are only partially fleshed out. There are some clumsy setups about broken hips and hearing loss. But perhaps that will unspool in season 2, which just got picked up by Netflix. 

Kauffman spoke to the Daily Dot about how Netflix is trying to engage a different audience, the wage gap, and the reality of vaginal dryness.

So you mentioned that Jane and Lily were there from the start. How did it end up at Netflix?

When we pitched it, we pitched it everywhere, because everybody was interested in hearing it. And we already had a sense that it should be on some sort of non-standard network outlet, and it just seemed HBO… I love their stuff, but you can be in development hell there for a long time. My actors are in their 70s; I don’t want to wait two years. And Netflix, if they like your script, you go. And I’m so happy with our decision.

Did starting with 13 episodes give you an advantage, or did you have to acclimate?

It’s really hard to go straight to 13 and not do a pilot. You can’t make mistakes, the learning curve has to be so, so fast. There are things we might have done differently had we been able to get a little more time, but we didn’t, and we got there, and it ended up being great. I don’t regret any of it. It was just really hard, and at the end of the season, both [co-creator] Howard Morris and I ended up with pneumonia. I mean it physically almost killed us.

You mentioned in the Q&A that your aunts don’t know about Netflix. Is Netflix trying to pull in a different demo with the show? Is there a 55- or 65-plus demo?

There is, and they’re not as surprised that that demo is watching. …But what’s happening that’s interesting is that kids are watching it with their older parents. So it’s become a little more multigenerational. The fear is “only these people will watch,” but we have a lot of people in the LGBT community, and we have a lot of young people watching. Getting a shoutout from Miley Cyrus makes a huge difference.

Do you think binge-watching has killed the anticipation of the TV finale?

No. You just have to think about building it differently. When you write a scene, when you write a full script, when you write a season, there is a build to it, and it has to have a certain amount of forward momentum, and it has to have a climax. The climax happens in the finale, and that climax, whatever it is, will leave you with enough anticipation that you’ll want to come back next season. What I’m finding happens is that people see the 13 and go, “More! We don’t want to stop right now.” And they have to wait a year. So in some ways, the bingeing of it can make it frustrating because it’s over so fast.

Are you asking me if I have a dry vagina?

Well, I wasn’t going to, but I am now.

[Laughter] After menopause, most of us do.

It’s not something I’ve talked about with my mother yet.

Thank god my mother’s dead because she couldn’t have watched this show. It would have killed her.

You know, things happen after menopause, not just to our bodies but to how we view life. Things really change at that point. And you’re sort of looking down the barrel, you’re looking at your third act, and there is a difference when you’re 70 and when you’re 60 mainly because of a kind of vulnerability that happens to your body when you’re 70. But these are all the things all of us are going to be dealing with. And why are we not talking about it? Why are we not talking about things that happen to half the population? And this is the most marginalized group of the population. Baby-boomer women. They are so intensely marginalized. And the feeling was, we’ve got to say shit. We have to show everybody that we not only have stuff to talk about, but we have stuff you can learn from us. We have life experience. And we have hope. Even if we are marginalized, we have a lot to say.

So I did want to talk about sexuality with older women because people usually go “Ugh” when you talk about an older woman having sex. Fuck you. We can have sex when we’re older, and we’re going to find a way to make it beautiful and lovely and important. And it’s just as important for us as it is for a 20-year-old, if not more so, because it’s about intimacy. I got a little excited about that one. See, the dry vagina leads to everything.

It opens everything up. Yeah, I think a lot of the heartbreak on the show is these women trying to figure out what they are without men, but did you also want to focus on how women’s friendships change at that age?

That’s part of it. They have each other to go through it with. Friendships aren’t that interesting as story, but the growth of the friendship as a result of the story is kind of interesting. For Grace, it was living without a man, but for Frankie, it was about living without her best friend. So it’s slightly different for each of them. For your best friend, it’s those little things every day. “Oh, I just saw a thing and I have to tell Sol.” It’s those small moments that I think kill Frankie. For Grace, it’s the public things.

Do you watch Amy Schumer at all?

Some. I tend not to watch comedy, but I did watch a bunch of that, and I think she’s hilarious.

Did you see the “Last Fuckable Day” episode?

I did.

I’m curious if that ties into the show at all—that women, and women in Hollywood, have an expiration date.

Not anymore, hopefully. It’s a horrid thing, it’s true. But the truth is, I’ve always been told that writers have an expiration date too. Not showrunners but writers, because they want the young [people with] a finger on the pulse. Or at least it used to be. Now there are so many outlets and groups of people looking for something they can watch. There’s more opportunity, I think, not only for the writer but for the actor. TV is changing.

There’s this phenomenal book called We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves. I don’t know if you’ve read it. We’re actually turning it into a miniseries. My favorite book of the past five years. It’s exquisite. Karen Joy Fowler wrote it. And we were going around trying to set it up as a movie, and we were told that unless you have Sandra Bullock, Meryl Streep, or Angelina Jolie, it will not get made. That’s not true with TV. With TV, they’d like a name, but it doesn’t have to be the only women who can sell a movie. And I think part of the problem with the only women who can sell a movie is they don’t try selling them with anyone else. There are these arbitrary rules about age. Well, that’s changed. It’s just an arbitrary, misogynist way to look at the industry, for these men to say, “Sorry, unless it’s one of them, nobody wants to see it.”

Have you seen the fan petition going around to fix the show’s wage gap?

I have.

What do you think about that?

It’s misguided. I tried to explain to someone, when you’re building a football team, you don’t pay based on how many games they’re going to be in. You don’t pay based on their position. You pay based on their ability and their stature and their numbers. I’m building a team. It’s not about male/female; it’s that these four actors are the same version of athlete. They all have very big names, they all have great stature, and they are equals in that world. I don’t see it as a male/female thing at all. But you want to get Martin Sheen? You’ve got to pay for Martin Sheen. And then you want to get Sam Waterston? You’ve got to pay for Sam Waterston. These are people who have been on TV a great deal recently. So, these are my athletes.

Have you had to navigate those waters yourself, in terms of income inequality in Hollywood?

Personally, no, I have not, because for the writer, there’s kind of a step process. You start as this, you go to this, you go to this. We started as writers. We got paid next to nothing, but that’s because it was our first time doing it and they were taking a big gamble on us. And that was Dream On. ... And there was no inequality on Friends. It started with who’s had more work and ended with who’s got more experience. And it ends with, you know what, we’re an ensemble. Everybody gets the same.

There’s been a lot of comment about the first episode being pretty dark. Was the intention to give us this realness first?

The intention was to do a real comedy, and it was extremely important to us that the first episode feel truthful, because you had to buy into the truth of it to be able to do the comedy of it. Otherwise, it would once again be marginalizing the 70-year-old woman by saying it’s just a funny thing. It’s not a funny thing. Your husband leaving you after 40 years is one of the most painful things that can happen. And it took us time, and I actually think we got better at it as the season went on, but also their situation changed. Once they were able to be OK and were starting to put one foot in front of the other, it didn’t have to be so dark. And I think there were moments that, as we went on, that walked the line really gently.

Photo by Melissa Moseley/Netflix 

With California in the middle of a drought so bad that it’s already garnering Mad Max comparisons, the idea of reusing sewage should be the least of residents' worries. But this is California, and that hasn't stopped them from worrying about it.

California is testing a system, called toilet-to-tap, that results in drinkable water that’s even cleaner than tap water. But some people can't get past the fact that what they're drinking was once toilet water. On The Daily Show, Jon Stewart wondered whether people would be onboard if the purifying system had a different name.

"It's known as toilet-to-tap, but there are steps in between," Stewart said. "You're not just sticking a drinking straw up somebody's ass."

He had to get it out of his system somehow.

We’ve seen our share of gritty reboots of more cheerful films and TV shows, but the gritty reboot of Doogie Howser, M.D. manages to take it up a couple of notches.

Howser is the child nightmare that older generations have been waiting to see play out, and in a two-minute parody from Nerdist and Jonah Ray, we get to see how Doogie would have handled his genius and fame had he grown up in the 2010s instead of the late 1980s and early 1990s.

Needless to say, it doesn't go well once he actually gets the chance to work at the operating table.

H/T AV Club | Screengrab via Nerdist

While some social media misfires caused a stir when South African comic Trevor Noah was tapped to replace Jon Stewart as The Daily Show host in March, one Viacom exec now says the company’s failure to vet his Twitter account wouldn’t have cost Noah the gig.

“We did not vet his Twitter feed before we hired him,” said David Herzog, president of Viacom Music and Entertainment Group, at the PromaxBDA marketing conference, according to excerpts of his remarks posted on the organization’s website. “But the truth is even had we looked at it I don’t know what we would have done differently.”

Noah came under fire online within hours of being announced as the next late-night host as viewers found past tweets that were offensive to women and Jews. Viacom and Jon Stewart came to his defense, saying that judging him on a handful of jokes is “unfair” and that he should be given the chance to earn the audience’s trust. Noah himself even addressed the feedback.

“Ultimately, we think this is the right guy for the job,” he continued. “The list was very short.”

Stewart leaves the show Aug. 6, and Noah will take over following a hiatus on Sept. 28.

H/T The New York Times | Screengrab via Trevor Noah/YouTube

As fans go to remember the life and career of Christopher Lee, who died on June 7, they’ll look fondly on some of his most famous work. And thanks to the Internet, it’s easier than ever.

Some younger fans will cite Star Wars and Lord of the Rings among their favorite films starring Lee, but with a career spanning nearly 70 years (and 281 credits to his name), it’s only a small portion of what he’s accomplished on film. Before he became a sci-fi and fantasy villain, he made his name in horror films spanning decades. He said that he’d never retire in an acceptance speech in 2011, and he kept his word; when he died, he was attached to the film The 11th, which would’ve started filming in November.

And Lee’s favorite role? It’s one you’ve probably never heard of and we haven’t been able to find: Muhammad Ali Jinnah, the founder of Pakistan, in the 1998 biopic Jinnah. Here’s Lee talking fondly of the role.

1) The Curse of Frankenstein (Amazon)

Lee played Frankenstein’s monster opposite Peter Cushing’s Baron Victor Frankenstein in the first of more than 20 film collaborations and his first film with production company Hammer; it was the launch of his career in horror. The success of the film led to a horror revival on the big screen as well as films such as Dracula to be remade.

Count Dracula would become Lee’s most famous role, one he played 10 times from 1958 to 1973. A remake of the film from the 1930s, Lee’s Dracula transformed what people thought about the character, and the first one, in which he only shows up for a small amount of time, was both a critical and commercial success. By the ’70s, the films flopped and Lee performed as the Count for the last time.

3) The Mummy (iTunes)

Back before people associated The Mummy with Brendan Fraser, Lee started as the titular Mummy who’s accidentally brought back from the dead by archaeologists and wreaks havoc on those who desecrated his love’s tomb.

4) The Wicker Man (iTunes)

Once called“the Citizen Kane of horror films,” the story of The Wicker Man zeroes in on a police sergeant searching for a missing girl in a town taken over by Celtic paganism, and it remains a cult classic 40 years after its release. Lee, as the lord of the island, is as creepy as ever. Lee would later call it the best film he’s been in.

Rochefort, the character Lee portrayed in this take of the classic, is about as classic villain as you can get: He’s got an eyepatch, a mustache to twist, he can fight with a sword, and we can’t take our eyes off him. Of course, showing even more of his talents, Lee could also fence in real life.

6) The Man With the Golden Gun (Amazon)

7) That one time he hosted Saturday Night Live (Hulu Plus)

After moving to the States to try something new, Lee showed off his comedic chops and hosted an episode of the third season of SNL with Meat Loaf as the musical guest. Although most of it is hidden behind a paywall, he adorably introduces “Loaf” to perform. The hosting gig got him a role in Steven Spielberg’s 1941 and an offer for Airplane!, one he turned down (and later regretted).

He already played Sherlock’s brother Mycroft in The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, but he put on the deerstalker cap in two films of his own: The Incident at Victoria Falls and The Leading Lady.

He’s acted in movies spanning decades, but he’s also done voiceover work as animated or CGI characters (e.g., Alice in Wonderland) and lent his voice to video games. He reprises Saruman in LOTR-related games, but he also voices Ansem the Wise in the Kingdom Hearts series, which is both unexpected and exciting for fans playing through for the first time.

If the character appears in the long-awaited Kingdom Hearts 3 and pulls some heartstrings just by speaking, we’ll know why.

Best friends foreverIan McKellen and Patrick Stewart marked their real-life reunion in a manner that can be common with friends.

Stewart and his wife Sunny Ozell came out to support his longtime friend at the London premiere of Mr. Holmes, and the longtime friends shared a kiss on the Red Carpet. Ozell looked on in amusement.

H/T Hollywood Reporter | Photo via Gage Skidmore/Flickr (CC BY SA 2.0)

Fox Animation has picked up the rights to make the film adaptation of Nimona, the webcomic turned graphic novel from Noelle Stevenson, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Although Vertigo Entertainment optioned the movie rights to the film last month, it’s now changed hands in what’s being called a “competitive situation." Patrick Osborne, who directed the Oscar-winning short Feast that debuted before Big Hero 6, will direct the film with screenwriter Marc Haimes set to write the script.

Stevenson started Nimona back in June 2012 while she attended the Maryland Institute College of Art, which ended up being her senior thesis. Mashing up tropes and genres, it told the story of a young shapeshifter who joins forces with a former knight-turned-bad guy to commit villainy and eventually overthrow the medieval-esque regime.

After its completion, it was printed as a graphic novel by HarperCollins and published last month, which became a New York Times bestseller. Stevenson is currently nominated for an Eisner Award for Best Digital/Web Comic for Nimona.

Lumberjanes, the comic Stevenson writes with Shannon Watters, Grace Ellis, and Brooke Allen, is also being adapted into a film.

H/T Hollywood Reporter | Photo via Harper Collins

The move to drop the much anticipated season 3 was announced at the fan-filled OrangeCon event in New York. OITNB character Crazy Eyes, played by Uzo Adubo, stood up during a cast panel to ask Netflix boss Reed Hastings (over a video call) to treat the fans to the entire season sooner than they planned.

Screengrab via Netflix

But Game 4 will be remembered as that time ABC accidentally showed America James' penis moments before tipoff. 

Should that happen, we'll be able to point to a defined turning point in the series.

Photo via Keith Allison/Flickr (CC BY SA 2.0)

This post contains copious spoilers for the first two seasons of Orange Is the New Black.

I knew there were other people like me—people left in the dark, people who had to sometimes smile and just pretend they knew what the hell people were talking about whenever Orange Is the New Black came up in conversation. I had to deal with it when season 1 was released, and it was hailed by every person I knew as the best thing since [insert whichever Breaking Bad, Mad Men, The Sopranos, Game of Thrones–esque show strikes your fancy]. And then I had to deal with it even more when season 2 came out, because there were even more fans by that point.

Well, no longer will I have to be in the dark—and neither will you. Because, as of 72 hours ago, I began watching OITNB in its entirety, and, like Moses from the mountaintop, I have brought forth the information I found, so that you won’t have to watch the whole show in the next 26 hours—because I know you’re thinking about it.

Because I know that you don’t want to be left in the dark, yet again, when your friends/significant others/roommates are watching and discussing the show. I know you want to be included. I know you just want to be part of them.

And so, below, I have recorded my findings from being extremely stupid and watching 26 episodes of an hourlong show in a single sitting. I’ve done this for you, and I know this is true because—between you and me—I’d rather be catching up on Game of Thrones. So skip the binge-watch session, and just load up this page. Don’t let my pain be in vain—let my suffering be your aide, and trick those close to you into thinking you’ve kept up with this show, and that you know what the fuck is going on in it.

Because this is an ensemble program, I’ve broken down the plot by the currently important characters and have detailed where they are in the show’s plot. I’ve also called them by their last names or nicknames—why? Because this is prison, bitch, and that is how things are done in prison. (This is but one of the show’s many teachings.)

Without further adieu: 

Chapman

The show’s main character, Piper Chapman is serving a 15-month sentence for

The show starts with everybody making fun of Chapman, because she’s pretty and white and her face has RICH FAMILY tattooed on it with invisible ink, but this is pretty much all forgotten by season 2’s end—she’s just another inmate at this point.

As of the season 2 finale, Chapman is still serving her sentence, and everything is pretty much cool with her and the staff. Her main conflict, going into the third season, will be the fact that she gets Vause thrown back in prison at the end of season 2 final episode. Although they do still deeply love each other, Vause is likely to be unhappy about this.

Vause

Chapman’s ex-girlfriend (then fuck buddy, then girlfriend, then ex again,

She tells Chapman that she’s planning on fleeing the country to stay alive, and Chapman tips off her parole officer about this, who has her re-arrested, so expect to see her a lot more in this season, and expect to see her very, very upset (at the beginning—then things will be resolved and you can probably expect to see her naked).

She’s played by Laura Prepon (Donna from That 70’s Show), and is one of the few faces in the show that you’ll likely recognize from somewhere else.

Bloom

Chapman’s ex-fiancé, played by Jason Biggs. “Will they make it through this” was a major

In season 1, he wrote an article about his relationship with Chapman that landed him in The New York Times. He was then on a radio show (to talk about Chapman, of course). As season 3 goes on without him, he’s probably going to be all out of the money from those two gigs and more likely deeply in debt—not that we’ll probably be shown this, but, for this reason only, he’s the character that I most identify with on the show (which isn’t to say that I like him).

Morello

Morello’s been the passenger van driver for the show’s duration, but probably won’t be anymore (see the above character for why). We learn in season 2 that a fiancé she’s obsessed over for the whole show is actually somebody that she went on one date with, and then stalked, and then tried to blow up with a homemade explosive device (which is why she’s in the slammer). So, she’s crazy. But she’s also awesome, as one of the sweetest and kindest inmates. She dresses and talks like she’s in Mad Men, and it’s a shame that she wasn’t born in the early ’30s—a woman’s life in the 1950s would have been quite kind to her, contrary to how 99.9 percent of women probably feel about that time in history.

Cisneros

Nichols

Nichols is in jail because of something having to do with drugs, and that’s

As for now, she’s pretty friendly with everybody, because she’s a friendly person. She pissed off Red once, but that passed pretty quickly. 

Season 3 should deal with with an issue that any Lost junky is familiar with: the dilemma of an ex-junkie discovering a huge amount of heroin. See: Part of the plan for getting season 2’s villain—Vee—out of the picture was to rat on her massive heroin stash, which led to Nichols hiding the stash—but then Vee was serendipitously run over by Cisneros as she fled the compound (Cisneros never liked her), which leaves Nichols basically stuck with tons of heroin hidden in a vent that only she and one other person knows about. 

So expect season 3 to open with Nichols figuring out if she’s going to destroy that stash, or if she's going to do it until she’s dead (which would mean that Nichols will die by the second episode of the third season).

Also worth noting: Nichols and Morello had a sexual relationship at the show’s start, but it was pretty brief, as Morello was still convinced that she was engaged to that dude she was stalking, and so she ended things to not cheat on him. So maybe that’ll come back in season 3 (if Nichols doesn’t overdose immediately).

Red

Red was also in the kitchen before the administration dicked her over and booted her from the job. So maybe she’ll end up getting that position back this season.

Doggett

Doggett came into prison because she was a meth head that was insulted

The anti-abortion group that paid for Doggett’s expensive defense resulted in her believing everything they believed in. After all, it’s easier to believe that God picked you to murder somebody than it is to just think that you’re an asshole.

Throughout seasons 1 and 2, she’s gone really off the rails on a few occasions, but she seems more level now. She’s even formed a friendship with Boo, who’s a lesbian, so maybe she’s finally getting underneath all that religion/amphetamine-fueled baggage to become an actual person. Season 3 should let us know if that’s the case pretty quickly.

Caputo

Along with a few other male characters, Caputo partially represents

He’ll start season 3 off as the new assistant to the warden—whom we haven’t actually met yet. He took the old assistant, who was terrible at her job, down by bringing to light case files that proved she embezzled money. He told the ex-assistant (who who’t be getting a separate mention here, because she’s gonzo—I think) that she could save her job, and get the incriminating files back, by giving him oral sex. When she finished, he told her they were only copies and that she was still going down. Haha, funny joke, Caputo! So, he has a good heart, but he’s still a male pig that’s running a women’s correctional facility, and that spells trouble. He also fired one of the most compassionate correctional officers because she didn’t recognize his advances or just plain wasn’t interested in him. 

Now that he’s in charge, expect to see him fucking up a lot while trying to do the right thing in season 3. The show’s already been greenlit for a fourth season, and he’ll probably be facing a lawsuit by then.

Mendez aka Pornstache

Mendez is a Corrections Officer. In season 1, he

When Mendez actually falls in love with the woman who duped him, he starts to come across as more sad and pathetic than an all-out asshole.

Yeah, he’s done horrible things in the past: He sold drugs to the inmates, made Red’s life hell to find out how she was sneaking cosmetics in (so he could use the same methods for drugs—something Red is dead set against), and gave drugs to a girl that Red had previously gotten clean (which resulted in her death, so he staged the scene to make her death look like a suicide).

But now, the inmate he was framed to sleep with has been discovered to be pregnant, which means his sex with her can’t be swept under the rug, and he’s been arrested for rape and lost his job. To make things worse: He really believes the kid is his, and he’s madly in love with the inmate that set him up. So… you kinda feel bad for this asshole. All that said, let’s tackle the inmate that set up him up next….

Diaz (Daya)

She gets a first name in parentheses because she’s in there with her

Diaz is in jail for taking the fall for her boyfriend’s drug manufacturing/distribution ring that was housed in her apartment’s kitchen. The reason her mother’s in jail? She took the fall, too, for the exact same reason, and with the exact same boyfriend. Is Daya a bad person for sleeping with her mother’s boyfriend after she went to jail? Probably. But her mother’s super shitty in every way possible, so… whatever. Her mother would get her own section, but all you really need to know is that up until now, she hasn’t really had any importance to the plot. She’s just a background shitty mother that pops up for bad advice now and again.

Bennett

I feel bad for Bennett. He’s a CO, and the father of Diaz’s child (sex in the

The thing is: Nobody told Bennett about the plan to frame Pornstache for the baby’s existence in the first place. In fact, he was extremely butthurt about the whole ordeal when he was told about it (after it had already happened). The fact that she’s now demanding that he get himself arrested for rape (remember, all sex between CO’s and inmates is automatically considered rape) because she feels bad about Mendez is pretty fucked up.

At the very end of season 2, Bennett steps forward to Caputo and admits the child is his, but this is only Caputo’s second day as the assistant warden, so naturally, he tells Bennett to please keep his mouth shut and to leave his office. For all Caputo cares, this is all already handled: Mendez has taken the fall for it, and plus Caputo hates Mendez, so as far as he’s concerned, everything’s fine.

But, as we all know… when there’s a third season, the writing staff is going to make damn sure that all is not well. Not at all. So expect all this Mendez/Bennett/Caputo baby shit to play a major role in the upcoming season.

Burset

Burset’s character is trans, and is portrayed by real-life transgender actress Laverne Cox. In her flashback, pre-transition scenes, the character portrayed by her real-life twin brother. That has no bearing on the show—it’s just cool as fuck.

Luschek

Pronounced, as he says at one point, “loose check,” he’s the prison’s

He’s used in odd ways—sometimes he’s a racist, sexist, alcoholic asshole, and sometimes he’s there for comic relief—so it’s tough to say what his role will be in the third season. Just know that anything can happen with this guy (including being fired, since Caputo seems pretty serious about cleaning the place up). 

Toward the end of season 2, he’s seen eating lunch and being quite nice to Nichols, so there’s also the possibility that he’ll start going into a nicer direction this season. It’s surprising, after seeing him as an asshole on several occasions, how incredibly likable he is when he’s being nice—so it’d be cool if that’s the direction they take him in.

Warren aka Crazy Eyes

At the start of the show, Crazy Eyes falls in love with Chapman—she

At the end of season 2, Crazy Eyes almost goes down for attempted murder, which would have landed her in a maximum security prison (we see this place in season 2’s opening episode, and it really sucks). The reason she almost ends up there? She’s gullible enough for season 2’s villian, Vee, to convince her that she was the one who nearly beat Red to death, when the reality is that Vee did the act herself. 

Crazy Eyes believes that she’s crazy enough to have committed the locksocking without remembering it, and she even confesses to it, but Healy convinces Luschek to fake a work order form that places her in the electrical room during the time of the attack, thus giving her an alibi. See how cool Luschek can be? And, speaking of characters that can jump from being totally cool to being complete assholes and back again…

Healy

Sam Healy forms a close bond with Chapman upon her arrival, seeing

Healy’s a tough case: He cares about his job, but he bounces back and forth between trying to give 110 percent and not giving a single shit whatsoever. I think he’s a counselor—or at least, when he’s trying, he counsels inmates—but most of what he does is paperwork and other bureaucratic stuff that seems to have killed his spirit.

He also has a Russian mail-order bride. When we see him at home, it’s always at the dinner table, with his mail-order bride talking to her mother in Russian (I guess her mother was part of the whole package deal). At one point, her mother reminds her that it won’t be too much longer until she can get her green card and divorce him. He spends his free time trying to learn Russian, presumedly so that he can know how much shit they’re talking about him at the dinner table.

Going into season 3, Healy will probably be at least somewhat in Give a Shit mode, because Doggett tells him that his counseling is the best thing in her life in season 2’s finale, which leads him to find Luschek to get the proper forms forged to get Crazy Eyes off the hook for Red’s locksocking.

Jefferson aka Taystee

In all honesty, I can’t remember anything that Taystee did in season 1,

But, once she’s out, she has nowhere to go, so she hooks back up with Vee and quickly finds herself arrested again. This time, though, Vee is also arrested. Vee’s been to prison before—fun fact: she taught Red how to run the contraband game when she was a newbie to the prison—and with Taystee in there with her, she quickly brainwashes her (and a lot of other people) into selling narcotics for her.

I apologize for this inadvertently becoming Vee’s section, but the truth is: They haven’t done a whole lot with Taystee yet, outside of defining her as a possible genius and then having her brainwashed by Vee, anyway.

Well, there is one other thing, and it might pop up in the third season…

Washington

Serving a six-year sentence (estimated by fans to be for selling

Parker AKA Vee

It seems silly to make a section for Vee, because she’s

I really do hope she’s dead, though. She seriously sucks—she’s just an awful person, and I hope her story (and life) has run its course. 

Season 3 of Orange Is the New Black is now streaming on Netflix.

Photo via Orange Is The New Black/Netflix

John Oliver has been gleeful lately about the resignation of FIFA president Sepp Blatter—so gleeful, in fact, that the Last Week Tonight host bought airtime on Trinidad TV to start a hilarious feud with former FIFA executive Jack Warner, who was arrested during a police sting at a Swiss hotel earlier this month and tried to defend himself by citing an article in the Onion.

Now, Warner has responded to Oliver's response on TV 6 CCN. He's outraged that Oliver, a foreigner and a "comedian fool," would be allowed to buy time on the local TV station to ridicule him and his community.

We have to ask: What is up with that background music? It's awesome and completely inappropriate. At times it's hard to hear Warner because the soaring music is so dramatically loud.

We certainly hope Oliver responds again. Please, John Oliver. We'll even beg using the words Warner repeats in his latest video: "Heaven help us."

Screengrab via rpmackey/YouTube

Now that we’ve had time to practice our first acting lesson from Chris Pratt, it’s about time we got another one.

This time around, Pratt is teaching Conan O’Brien how to ham it up for the camera whenever it’s time for a close-up. The key is to be as inexpressive as possible, because any overacting might end up being even scarier than the dinosaurs on a 30-foot movie screen.

Pratt showed off his three faces—fear, love, and pure joy—while O’Brien was...a lot less successful. There’s a reason one of them is an actor and the other is a wacky talk-show host.

On Thursday, the Internet was full of condolences and tributes for Rue McClanahan, who was best known for playing Blanche Devereaux on The Golden Girls. But there’s just one problem with that: McClanahan died five years ago.

In a day where the deaths of Christopher Lee, Ornette Coleman, and Dusty Rhodes made headlines, some people mourned the loss of McClanahan as well. A CBS News obituary from 2010 started to go viral as people shared their grief without checking the date of the article.

Meanwhile, those who didn’t fall for the hoax are rubbing it in gullible Golden Girls fans' faces.

Bill Murray’s at it again, popping up in places you wouldn’t expect him to be. This time, however, it’s central to the plot of his new movie, Rock the Kasbah.

In the new trailer, Murray stars as seemingly down-on-his-luck rock and roll tour manager Richie Lanz, who takes his remaining client (Zooey Deschanel) to Afghanistan to perform for “two thousand horny soldiers.” The singer, in turn, robs him and strands him in the country without a passport and only an armed Bruce Willis to get by. In what can only be a zany journey out of Afghanistan, Lanz meets a young Afghani singer (Leem Lubany) and smuggles her into the Afghan Star competition in Kabul (which is basically American Idol).

Rock the Kasbah, directed by Barry Levinson (Rain Man, Young Sherlock Holmes) and written by Mitch Glazer (Scrooged), will hit theaters Oct. 23. 

Screengrab via MOVIECLIPS Trailers/YouTube

BY TERRI SCHWARTZ

Chris Pratt is easily one of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood in 2015, and he just said goodbye to TV when Parks and Recreation aired its final episode in February. But that doesn't mean he's turned a blind eye to just how great television is right now.

While promoting his new film Jurassic World, talk turned to whether or not he would return to TV. Instead of answering the question directly, Pratt gushed about how impressed he is by the medium for entertainment.

"TV is extraordinary right now," he says. "There are so many different media outlets outside of the major networks and what's so great about TV is that you can get really rich, an opportunity to tell really rich stories over the course of so many hours, it's like a novel of this type of medium, film or television. Film is cool because now I have two hours for this cool ride. It's typically three acts—beginning, middle, end—you go on an adventure. By the end it's all cleaned up, and if you have a franchise, maybe you have three chapters of a great, great story. 

"In TV you can really get into not only great characters but also the relationships. All the back stories and all of the relationships you have with every person in your life and how those people have relationships with each other, it's just more dense and there's more time to tell stories."

He also made sure to give his wife Anna Faris a nod, considering she is currently starring on CBS' comedy Mom. "I think [Mom] is the best show on the air. It's truly remarkable," he deadpans. "I could go on and on, just the tones they hit emotionally, comedically, and the lead actress is stunning. I would like to have a baby with her."

Pratt never outright said he has plans to star in a new TV show, but he does admit that it appeals to him because shooting a series is a lot more amenable to family life than shooting a movie.

"I would definitely not rule out doing television in the future because I think it's a great medium for telling stories and also practically, it's very nice for a family man to have nine months out of the year where you are close to the city, close to your home," Pratt tells reporters. "When I did Parks and Rec, it took me seven minutes to get to work, which was amazing. Nine months out of the year, I would work right down the road, come home for dinner every night, spend weekends at home. Movie making, you can be halfway around the world for six months, so there are amazing benefits to doing TV and a platform to be creative."

Jurassic World hits theaters on June 12. 

Photo via Zap2it