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Katy Perry's dancing sharks won Super Bowl XLIX

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Who won the Super Bowl? It seems like a simple question. The New England Patriots won the big game. Or, at the very least, the ill-advised last-minute play of the Seattle Seahawks lost the Super Bowl.

Those are arguments one could make, but they're objectively wrong. The correct answer is that Katy Perry's dancing sharks won the Super Bowl.

Perry, the halftime show's controversial star, came out riding what looked like a giant metallic lion while dressed like she was about to fight in the Hunger Games. She danced with silver zebra people. She rapped with Missy Elliott atop of giant, psychedelic version of a Simon Says game. She flew through the sky on a "The More You Know" star. And Lenny Kravitz was there to let everyone know that, one time, he also kissed a girl and similarly found it quite pleasurable.

When Perry's medley of her greatest hits took its inevitable trip through "Teenage Dream," University of Phoenix Stadium was briefly turned into a California beach replete with cartoonish dancing versions of palm trees, surf boards, beach balls, and, yes, even sharks.

There was something about the sharks. Maybe it was the homemade feel of the costumes or possibly the dancers' violent indifference to choreography. Whatever it was, people around the world connected to the sharks on a fundamental human level. Allowing those sharks to be at the Super Bowl was instantly the least objectionable thing the NFL has done in at least a year. 

People related to the trials and tribulations of the sharks as representations of the trials and tribulations of their own lives.

People inserted the sharks into every corner of popular culture imaginable, in an innocent hope that the sharks' inherent goodness and purity would rub off, replacing the world's mean-spirited callowness with open-hearted sincerity.


People looked deeply into the sharks' eyes and searched for the meaning they were unable to find when gazing into a mirror.

People used the sharks as proof that Back to the Future, Part II is the most accurate cinematic vision of the future ever imagined.

Actor Verne Troyer jumped in to insist that he wore it better.

But, who are the sharks? What are their life stories? What are their hopes, dreams, and fears? Do they love? Can they love? Can any of us truly love? What is love? Is it possible to embark on a serious and sober-minded moral calculus such that we can accurately determine which of the two sharks best represents us? Or is that sort of objective labeling only possible with emotional distance that comes from a Buzzfeed quiz?

More importantly, was Snoop Dogg being serious when he said he was one of the sharks or was Snoop lyin'?

According to Reddit's Super Bowl super sleuths, these are the two heroes who were inside those shark costumes and therefore inside all of our hearts.


God bless you, dancing sharks. You have truly earned the gratitude of a grateful nation.

Screengrab via NBC Sports | Remix by Andrew Couts


Bryan Cranston revives Walter White for a Super Bowl XLIX commercial

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Last night's Super Bowl ads got prettydark: Nationwide made us grieve for a dead child (mostly in meme form on Twitter) before it was even halftime, and Coca-Cola envisioned a future where pouring soda into the Internet would make trolls give up on their crusades of hatred. 

And then there was Walter White. 

Seeing Bryan Cranston reprise his Breaking Bad role was a bit jarring: Was this some sort of subconscious Better Call Saul promotion? Is there going to be a Breaking Bad movie? Or did Esurance just offer him a lot of money to utter the line everyone “sort of” knows? 

Screengrab via Esurance/YouTube 

Jimmy Fallon's newest lip-synch battle with Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart is a must-see

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While the Patriots spent most of last night in celebration mode after winning the Super Bowl, it was business for Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show, with the football-themed shenanigans front and center.

First, to celebrate the victors, Fallon and a slew of celebrities collaborated with the Roots on an a cappella cover of “We Are the Champions,” the quintessential victory tune. While perfectly enjoyable, one might argue it suffers from a little too much star power, as everyone tries to make the differing voices and personalities—some of whom will probably never duet together in any other way—click.

While a cappella was the pregame show, the main event was a giant lip sync battle between Fallon, Kevin Hart, and Will Ferrell. What started off as the usual fanfare between the trio transformed with an assist from an old friend of Fallon’s, producing a victory (as well as actual clothing damage) and ending with someone possibly doing Katy Perry better than Katy Perry.

“You can never unsee that,” Fallon says at one point. Especially when you can rewatch it on YouTube.

Screengrab via The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon/YouTube

We now know how much sex there will be in 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

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Ever since the Fifty Shades of Grey movie was first announced, people have been wondering just how much sex will would make it into the final cut.

Now we know.

The theatrical release of Fifty Shades will reportedly include 20 minutes of sex scenes, comprising about a fifth of the film's run time. What this actually means is a little more difficult to guess. For one thing, we already know we won't be seeing any of what actor Jamie Dornan (Christian Grey) describes as his "todger."

Fifty Shades is rated R in the US and 18 in the UK, making it pretty clear that it won't be as explicit as the book. This is a genital-free movie that kids could potentially watch if they were accompanied by an adult. Granted, we'd hate to imagine the family outing that ended with butts firmly planted—in theater seats, mind you—to see Fifty Shades.

In a recent interview with the Guardian, director Sam Taylor-Johnson said, "I didn't want it to be graphically explicit, and I know that’s going to be disappointing to some people. For me, that’s unerotic. The minute you sense penetration, it’s all over. It’s the buildup and the titillation of touch and sensuality. So I don't think it goes into the realm of porn."

This is presumably why she decided to leave out the infamous tampon scene.

Taylor-Johnson's attitude reflects the realistic approach of making a movie for a mainstream audience, but it's hard to imagine how much "sensuality" Fifty Shades can possibly achieve when its actors seem so uncomfortable with their roles. Jamie Dornan already alienated a lot of Fifty Shades fans by implying that he was grossed out when he visited a BDSM club, while Dakota Johnson said she found her nude scenes "stressful" and added that Dornan always threw a blanket over her as soon as they finished filming.

Bearing in mind these comments, will the 20 minutes of sex scenes be weirdly stilted? They're apparently tame enough to watch at a mother and baby screening if you're in the U.K. Just sit back and imagine that experience for a moment.

Photo via Fifty Shades Movie

Catch up with all the Oscar-nominated buzz films in less than 3 minutes

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If you just can't put in the hours it would require to become a certified expert on all the Oscar-nominated films this year, one YouTube channel has you covered with this helpful supercut of all the nominees in just 2 minutes and 46 seconds. 

The supercut really runs the gamut, starting off with the grand, establishing shots of space and time. It then moving into the romance section (kicked off by Stoick and Valka from How to Train Your Dragon 2, of course), before settling into the "everyone is sad" section that takes up most of the rest of the video.

It's a pretty good reminder that heavy films are the ones that are overwhelmingly represented at the Academy Awards, although there are some glimmers of hope and smiles in the supercut, sandwiched between a lot of anger and tears. At least this video saves you from sobbing in the movie theater surrounded by other people.

Screengrab via cineplexmovies/YouTube

Bill Murray, Jerry Seinfeld, Robert de Niro join 'SNL' 40th anniversary show

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Feb. 15 is shaping up to be a pretty big night for Saturday Night Live

In addition to the return of Eddie Murphy, the 40th anniversary special is going to see the return of former cast members like Chevy Chase, Dan Akroyd, Will Ferrell, Mike Myers, Tina Fey, Maya Rudolph, Dana Carvey, Chris Rock, Martin Short, Molly Shannon, Amy Poehler, and Bill Murray, to name a few. 

A few commercials during last night's Super Bowl teased the special, which also boasts appearances from Kanye West (who prepared for his Debbie Downer bit last night), Robert De Niro, Jerry Seinfeld, Taylor Swift, Melissa McCarthy, Christopher Walken, Jack Nicholson, and Betty White. 



If Murray and Akroyd will be on hand, and so will the cast of the new Ghostbusters film... fingers crossed. Now they just need to bring Fear back for a musical performance.

A spokesperson told the Wrap more names will be announced in coming days. The show airs Feb. 15 at 8pm ET. 

Photo via Paul Sherwood/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

You need to watch this 16-bit, side-scrolling 'Simpsons' makeover

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Thanks to 26 seasons on air and thousands of episodes in syndication,The Simpsons opening credits have easily becoming one of the most recognizable animated intros in the pantheon of pop culture. From Futurama tributes to bizarre sci-fi spoofs, America’s favorite animated family and its signature couch gag have plumbed just about every creative depth. 

But sadly, no couch gag in the past 25 years has come close to achieving the creative genius a few fans were able to construct with only a few pixels. This 16-bit intro, complete with its own trippy electronic soundtrack, comes care of superfans and master animators Paul Robertson and Ivan Dixon

The pixelated homaged to Homer, Marge, Maggie, Bart, and Lisa is loaded with references to some of the franchise's most notable episodes and only gets better with each passing second. 

Someone get these guys in touch with Fox. 

H/T Digg | Photo via simpsonspixels/YouTube

Jimmy Fallon made a shot-for-shot remake of the 'Fresh Prince' theme

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There’s a new prince in town.

After a Super Bowl stint the night before, Jimmy Fallon has started his temporary residency in the home of his predecessor: Los Angeles. He didn’t get into any trouble in West Philadelphia (where he was born and raised), but he went ahead and took at stab at The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song anyway, with a little help from his friends.

As we bury ourselves even further under our blankets in the very depths of winter, we can at least appreciate Fallon’s reasoning for making his stunt move across the country.

But why would he take a taxi for 3,000-plus miles? At least Will Smith got to fly in first class and drink orange juice out of a champagne glass. And what's with the cheap tip? 

Screengrab via The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon/YouTube


Heartbreak and joy in a 'MasterChef Junior' betting pool

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I’ve already lost in both of my MasterChef Junior betting pools. Yes, both—I chose the same kids twice because I thought I could double my winnings, and I chose terribly. They went down in the first and second episodes, respectively, and now I must watch with the knowledge that, in a few weeks, I’ll have to give a friend $10, even though my children were robbed.

If you don’t know: MasterChef Junior is a cooking competition show hosted by Gordon Ramsay, Joe Bastianich, and Graham Elliot. The contestants are all 8 to 13 years old, and often adorable. Sometimes they need step stools to reach the counters, and sometimes they need help carrying stand-mixers across the kitchen. Quite a few have proclaimed that they’re not just there to compete—they want to make friends. They somehow all know how to make pasta from scratch, and while they’re doing it, the hosts offer kind, thoughtful advice. Many hugs are exchanged when someone starts crying. It’s the greatest show on television.

“ZERO REGRETS. I have never sent as many frantic text messages during a TV show as I do during Master-Chef Junior.”

Which explains its non-ironic following among foodie and media crowds. TV writer Pilot Viruet admits, “on paper, MasterChef Junior is everything that I normally dislike about television. … Turns out, it’s nearly impossible to remain immune to [its] many charms.” At Eater, Alison Leiby writes, “ It is perhaps the purest competition show on television and I'm already obsessed with it.” Superfan Beejoli Shah told me in an email, “I never really got into MasterChef … but after reading this article about how MasterChef Junior avoided being campy by having so much heart, I knew I had to give it a try. ZERO REGRETS. I have never sent as many frantic text messages during a TV show as I do during MasterChef Junior. These kids are amazing! They are so extraordinarily nice to each other, in ways that the adults on MasterChef usually aren’t—they are filled with joy about everything.”

But back to the betting scene. I’ve never been one for organized gambling among friends. I’ve never enjoyed gambling, and even a run of low-key fantasy football left me feeling far more aggressive and competitive than it should have. I just want to watch the show or the game or whatever without thinking about this other thing, and without feeling like I’m winning or losing against people I like. 

But somehow, Masterchef Junior has changed all that. My two pools were started by completely separate groups of friends, with slightly different rules. In one we were assigned a child (Kyler 4 life), and in the other we were allowed to choose two, earning points for each week he or she lasts. There are frantic texts and recap emails and theories about whose parents must be insane. We all have our favorites as well as contestants who slightly creep us out, and predictions about what these children will grow up to be like.

“I think cooking competitions have the same appeal as sports,” says fellow fan Kevin Nguyen. “The stakes are totally trivial, and yet it's so easy to get completely wrapped up in it.” And in a show like MasterChef Junior, the stakes are at their absolute lowest, which is part of what makes it so fun. In fantasy football, you supposedly have a better chance if you know more about the sport (though one friend of mine won her office league by choosing players based on hotness, in case you need a strategy). 

In the MasterChef Junior leagues, there’s no way to be an expert, so victory and defeat quickly lose all meaning. Sure, you may have a hunch that a 13-year-old is more likely to win than an 8-year-old, but your predictions break down when you see what a beautiful try-hard is each and every contestant. It makes you feel like any of them could win. Even if you guess the outcome, what sort of bragging rights would you have?

Case in point: Here’s my dismal run.

The competition isn’t that big a deal for the kids, either. It’s not that the $100,000 in prize money is anything to sneeze at; it’s that the kid isn’t going to be doing much with it. Their parents will (we hope) put it in a college fund, or teach them how to invest it, or maybe—if they come from lesser means—it’ll be a big help right now. Most of the kids, as in any junior soccer league, seem more preoccupied with getting their hands on the actual trophy. After the show, they’ll go home, go back to school, and do chores when their parents ask them.

The messy, dangerous consequences of normal reality shows, meanwhile, are often what draw us to them, but the uncomfortable truth is that, because it’s a form of “reality,” actual lives are on the line. People’s reputations are ruined, fortunes lost, and relationships shattered. And yes, this has happened with kids and adults alike, whether they’re teen moms or next best models or toddlers in tiaras. We know things could completely unravel at any moment, which we admit is the allure, but it’s hard to escape the guilt that comes with it.

What Master-Chef Junior does—and it’s all too rare in TV—is reward people for their talents and their talents alone.

To Nguyen, MasterChef Junior is “better than most reality TV, because instead of watching adults act like children, we’re watching children act like children. So there's plenty of melodramatic crying, and it’s adorable and sweet.” Maybe that’s why it feels fresh—the emotions are built into the contestants, rather than spliced together. The kids aren’t as performative as contestants on other shows. There’s editing, of course, and some of the stars will go on to milk their newfound fame, but so far, it’s all been pretty innocent. Logan, the 12-year-old winner from last season, has a blog and a Twitter account, both moderated by his mom, and so far shows no signs of getting into the reality show circuit.

What MasterChef Junior does—and it’s all too rare in TV—is reward people for their talents and their talents alone. It relies not on professional levels of expertise that can make or break your career, nor does it embrace pageantry and humiliation. The kids do what they do quite well, but whether they win or lose, they’ll keep on being kids. They will be praised for their hard work and bullied for trying too hard. They will get in trouble and go through puberty. Better things will happen to them, and far worse things will happen to them, and they might not grow up to be chefs at all. They’re just happy to be there, and so are we.

Photo via Fox

'Break-Up' offers a modern update on the breakup song

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Heartache is a little less lonely when a favorite singer is serenading you through the pain. Whether you’re screaming along to Alanis Morissette, swaying to the Cure, or crying to Mariah Carey, breakup songs are good for what ails you. Matt Palmer’s new music video, “Break-Up,” is a fresh take on the familiar pop and R&B standby with a progressive twist.

The star of the video is gay, but the video makes it clear—as people around the singer freak out and break down—that breakups are universal. Rather than showcasing the narrative of a gay breakup as something unique or unusual, Palmer’s video highlights emotion and deemphasizes sexuality.

Palmer’s song is catchy, inviting, and surprisingly upbeat. The music evokes the relief that comes with admitting that everything may seem normal on the surface, but inside a breakup is tearing you apart.


Palmer spoke to the Daily Dot about his inspiration for the video, his musical heroes, and what it’s like to release music without the help of a label.

Can you tell me what inspired the video?

My director, Ryan Bartley, came up with several concepts for the video, and I just kept coming back to the idea of an entire group of people acting out my internal feelings of being broken up with. It's just so funny! I wanted to see an entire group of people freaking out while I pretended to be "taking it well" in these different scenarios.

The video features a variety of same-sex couples, individuals, and groups of friends in heated argument. Was it consciously important to you to open up the archetype of a "breakup" to a wider variety of relationships?

When we were casting, we definitely wanted to get a wide variety of people with different types of people, because being broken up with is something that we've all been through at some point, and have to deal with. It's not demographic-specific and I wanted that to come through in the video.

How long have you been making music? Who are your musical heroes?

I've been making music and writing songs since I was 14. My musical heroes have always been Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, and Babyface. I grew up listening to '90s R&B, so I'll always have an affinity to an emotional song with a strong melody.

You released your most recent EP independently. What's it like to release music without the help of a label?

It was a great experience, actually! I've been doing music for awhile now, and this is the first time since high school that I've been completely in charge of my own release. I raised the initial funds on Kickstarter and thanks to the backers, I had control over everything from the songwriting and production to the packaging and the videos. It's a really big undertaking, but I can say I'm 100 percent proud of everything that has come out in conjunction with this project, and that's an incredible feeling!

Screengrab via Matt Palmer/YouTube

Here are 5 award-winning webseries you've never heard of

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If you are looking for some new webseries to add to your video queue, it’s time to go where the winners play.

From Los Angeles to Bilbao, the number of marquee Web festivals is growing at a rapid clip, yet despite their glory, many gold medal winners from these events find their work goes unnoticed after the applause dies down. Some of the best pieces featured at such festivals draw only a few thousand views (or fewer) on YouTube and other distribution channels.

Luckily for you, we’ve built a list of five 2014 Web festival winners to enjoy on the device of your choice—and share with your video-loving friends.

1) Destroy the Alpha Gammas

If Glee and Grease were to mate, with a touch of college sophomore attitude, you would have this familiar-yet-fun, singing/dancing webseries, which took home best international series and best ensemble cast at London’s Raindance Webfest. The plot surrounds the battle between the underdog, nice-girl sorority and the tough-as-nails, mean-girl Greeks (the eternal good versus evil trope). What sets it apart is the use of popular music (Adele, Kanye West) performed with style by Leah McKendrick.

This award-winning webseries has only 861 YouTube subscribers.

2) Often Awesome the Series: An ALS Love Story

NY Web Fest’s best webseries of 2014 tells the touching and wonderfully human, uplifting story of Timothy LaFollete and his wife Kaylan Szafranski in their battle with Timothy’s shocking ALS diagnosis. Beautifully and authentically told, the series is as much about the power of love between two people as it is a life-changing disease.

It is difficult to imagine Often Awesome only has 1,186 subscribers on YouTube.

3) Universal Dead

While I am not generally one for zombie shows, this webseries, which won the grand prize at the LAWebFest, carries with it some major Hollywood talent in the form of D.B. Sweeney, who ventures forth with his post-apocalyptic military squadron to visit the secret hiding place for a colony of walking dead. There are many familiar faces here and a high creepiness factor that will appeal to lovers of this modern monster drama.

If you subscribe to Amazon Instant Video, the three-part series (16 minutes in total) was added to the service in December 2014.

On YouTube, it has a less-than-robust 201 subscribers.

4) The Fuzz

Now entering its fourth year, the HollyWeb Festival has seen a number of popular webseries pass through its submission doors. The Fuzz, a show about a hapless puppet police force, is winner of last year’s prestigious top award as best webseries. The 15-part series is a mad video scientist’s mashup of the play Avenue Q, the Muppets, and Jimmy Kimmel's classic Crank Yankers series. Some of the humor is a tad too campy for mainstream viewers, but overall it’s a clever work that has had a decent run on Yahoo Screen, although audience numbers have declined over the course of its lifespan.

5) Libres

Created in Spain, Libres is a politically charged story of a group of seven people who go to live in an abandoned village, where they attempt to bring social change through such efforts as launching a community farm. They run into issues raised by the landlord whose building they select to set up camp as well as police and other authorities.

The series, winner of best overall series at the Vancouver Web Fest, is in Spanish, but the 10-part series includes English subtitles. With only 2,208 subscribers on YouTube, this gem deserves some viral love.

Screengrab via Destroy The AGs/YouTube

Jimmy Kimmel's latest 'Mean Tweets' is meaner than ever

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Twitter users’ insults to celebrities are the gift that keeps on giving.

The old mantra of “never read the comments” still stands, but a handful of musicians are breaking that to participate in another one of Jimmy Kimmel’s “Mean Tweets” segments. This time around, the “mean” tweets are more of a punchline than an actual insult, making the celebrities burst out laughing.

The insults show a level of creativity that would be perfect for writing the script for a celebrity roast. And instead of just frowning or shouting an F-you to the nameless Twitter user, the celebrities are fighting back.

But the evolution of tweeting shows that these people are getting better at throwing their insults. When someone says that she “thoroughly dislikes Sam Smith” instead of using the word hate, Smith has to applaud her for the effort.

He’s right. Well done.

Screengrab via Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube

Revisiting the critically acclaimed rock class of 2005

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America's audiophiles love to stack vinyl, collect rare cassettes, and can't bring themselves to toss out their monetarily worthless CD collection. Yet that dusty, clunky hard drive full of swapped tunes from your roommate, well, you lost it somewhere between a semester in the English basement and the move to a more dignified living space that boasts a half-bath.

That's OK. No one misses the desktop file-based age that arrived shortly after Napster dropped a symbolic hammer on the record industry at the turn of the century—one that was shot into space thanks to the original iPod.

The iPod debuted on Oct. 23, 2001, but didn't become a widespread way of life until three years later when Hewlett-Packard decided to license and adapt the mp3 player into its Windows XP platform (Dell's failed Digital Jukebox left no bones about who ran this arms race), and the new click-wheel caught the world's imagination. By 2005, early collegiate Facebook groups would exist solely to proclaim to classmates: "I have an iPod and you don't yet."

Despite Apple's "1,000 songs in your pocket" miracle angle, this era of files and manual labeling was tedious and nerve-wracking. Ten years ago, the biggest music fans were constantly pirating records on sites like Soulseek and Ares, believing this in their hearts to be a noble and just pursuit because record labels were exploitative caste systems and burning the house down was the only way forward. Music fans were opening bundles of albums only to find incomplete LPs and maddeningly inconsistent labeling. They were tinkering with iTunes playlists and nervously waiting for them to sync.

Often the iPod outlasted the laptop and you carried the this hunk of frozen-in-time music with you, constantly nervous that it'd take a tumble and erase dozens of perfect mixes that could not be recovered. Today this pre-streaming and post-CD window is mostly scanned and ignored. It was an unpleasant transition, plus it's difficult to feign nostalgia for countless wasted hours of data entry. 

But like always, it was an era where music geeks felt compelled to listen to everything that was critically acclaimed at that moment and render a personal verdict. Such an act was possible with a handful of artless files, played out of sequence, stuffed into a tiny white paperweight.

This is not pointless nostalgia. Throughout the year, we'll be revisiting these widely acclaimed albums on the given month that they turn 10. Thanks to services like Spotify, these works are readily accessible and, more importantly, labeled and sequenced properly. We can finally process them in a bubble, sans a time-sensitive and superlative-laden media boost. Let's meet our first batch of birthday LPs that were released in January and February 2005—complete with a highly scientific countdown.

5) LCD Soundsystem — LCD Soundsystem

What critics said then: "LCD Soundsystem doesn't quite overcome the high bar set by its bonus disc. That might sound rough, but fortunately, just compiling all of Murphy & Co's singles on one handy CD provides a valuable service for newcomers to his eclectically retro style."

Most dated thing about it: The hipster look where a brown blazer with a band's button on the lapel was worn over a T-shirt, which James Murphy sports during this Lettermangig.

Arbitrary rock critic score after 10 years in the earbuds: 7.345

This is the building block LP that would help LCD Soundsystem morph into the 21st century's best band. Before the Chuck Klosterman-shepherded documentary, the teary farewell concert in 2011 at Madison Square Garden, and the ’72 Dolphins-esque perfect records, the band put out this van of a recording. Spread over two CDs, LCD Soundsystem is a collection of singles, remixes, a pu-pu platter of ideas from Murphy that serve as a warning. Thrilling standards like "Daft Punk Is Playing at My House" were elongated gags with veritable highs, but these days lull you to sleep relative to, say, the uptempo live version of the same cut found on 2010's London Sessions. Before Murphy wrote "New York, I Love You but You're Bringing Me Down" he raved about the dark corners of his now-gentrified-tenfold New York City on "Yr City's a Sucker." It's still an after-hours peacock strut down a steamy street, and the most enduring song here. 

4) M83 — Before the Dawn Heals Us

What critics said then: "Still, however cathartic, these baroque bursts will more than likely overwhelm listeners pragmatic and/or cynical enough to reject the purple poetry of a John Hughes first kiss or a flitting cliffside Robert Smith love note." 

Most dated thing about it: This album was chosen as one of Amazon's Top 100 Editor's Picks of 2005 and you remember that, yes, for a brief window, Amazon's editorial voice mattered.

Arbitrary rock critic score after 10 years in the earbuds: 7.459 

Richard Linklater would snake "Teen Angst" for the trailer to 2006's A Scanner Darkly. It's the most perfectly labeled song since "Fuck tha Police"—a Rainbow Road staircase with unstable steps and wobbly emotions. You're suddenly nostalgic for the 10-minute window between when the iMac G3 fired up and when Netscape rudely opened itself. Hearing the whole thing, I'm nostalgic for my off-brand mp3 player and how it got me through tedious overnight security shifts at parking garages. It's effective dream pop, but it's also somewhat predatory because this composition from French electro wizard Anthony Gonzalez is built around warm, after hours synths for lonely people with headphones. It was the first album from M83 following the departure of founding member Nicolas Fromageau, and it's still the most urgent and towering.

3) Bloc Party — Silent Alarm

What critics said then:  "A warm-blooded, street-level reaction to more measured, careful, chart-topping pop bombast, Silent Alarm simmers with a poseless passion that fixes the best bits of wiry '70 post-punk to solid songs, not just exercises in rhythm."

Most dated thing about it: That this band got on thanks to a demo winding up in the hands of Franz Ferdinand, and how that fact makes you think about the wave of indistinguishable retro U.K. bands that flooded American charts 10 years ago (Maxïmo Park, Editors, the Libertines, the Futureheads, Kaiser Chiefs).

Arbitrary rock critic score after 10 years in the earbuds: 7.864

Newsweek wrote about Bloc Party in March of '05. This was a mainstream indie band with strong ties ready to evaporate the game. There was almost Strokes-like hype here: the post-rock heartthrobs with the ceiling to… wait for it… save rock and roll. Roman-Catholic Igbo Nigerian, Liverpool, U.K.-born singer Kele Okereke sang with an underhanded point of view that made commonplace existence seem transcendent ("Do you wanna come over and kill some time?"). Silent Alarm sold a million copies in the U.K., and NME named it album of the year; in the states, the momentum was parlayed into early evening festival slots. But Silent Alarm was an ideal, highly burnable CD for college freshmen figuring out how to dress well. The noisy highs are great for late-night food court binges, and the romantic stuff beautifully adorned uncomfortable dorm lovemaking.

2) The Game — The Documentary

What critics said then"Has there ever been a more aptly named MC than the Game, who arrives in his swaddling clothes right at hip-hop's tipping point, its ongoing transition from street hustle turned gold to vertically integrated multinational capitalist tool. How telling is it that after listening to 18 tracks on mi hombre's debut, The Documentary, the verse that sticks out is 'If my Reebok deal isn't finished soon/I'll still be rocking these Air Nikes?'"

Most dated thing about it: Game's red and black iPod in the "How We Do" video. Game and 50 Cent as friends. Game's mantra, "anything is possible, if 50 fucked Vivica [Fox]."

Arbitrary rock critic score after 10 years in the earbuds: 9.2

When 50 Cent slides into the second verse of "How We Do" with opening line, "I put Lamborghini doors on that Escalade," it's one of the most thrilling moments in rap history. The Game's major label debut doubled as a thug life action figure magnum opus, complete with posable gang signs—a hardwired-for-success operating table bride of Get Rich or Die Tryin'. Dr. Dre and his Rolodex handled production duties (Timbaland, Kanye West), as Game was roped into 50 Cent's dominant and corporate rap clique, G-Unit. Game was on board as G-Unit's West Coast branch, and, partnered with Dre, the resulting Documentary became an instant G-funk revivalist epic. Game was gruff, thoughtful (rapping about pining for R&B songstress Mya, getting shot while playing Madden, abortions, purple kush, Cadillacs), and just the right amount of talented and paranoid to not sound ridiculous when he bragged about bringing back Compton, Calif., as a rap mecca. This disc you actually snagged from Best Buy on a Tuesday for $6.99 and blasted at the drive-thru. And it turns out that 50 Cent is one of the best role players around, but the big bang was short-lived—50 and Game soon devolved into professional enemies, and their feud has a lengthy Wikipedia entry. Neither has matched this creative apex since.

1) Bright Eyes — Digital Ash in a Digital Urn | I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

What critics said then: "His two new albums are completely different animals. I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning is a masterpiece of country-flavored heartland angst, plowing the musical ground between The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan and the Cure's Seventeen SecondsDigital Ash in a Digital Urn is a more self-conscious studio experiment, with Kid A-inspired synth diddles. Any mortal songwriter would get slaughtered attempting the emotional excesses of these tunes; sometimes it takes four or five minutes to tell whether it's a good one or not. But Oberst is brilliant at going too far, riding the subways with grievous angels and lost souls even more screwed up than he is."

Most dated thing about it: Boy composing two albums with entirely different themes and textures and then dumping them on the same winter day seems like an off-brand power play that would not fly in this economy.

Arbitrary rock critic score after 10 years in the earbuds: 9.3

Conor Oberst is probably underrated in that his best work is quintessential, lunging songwriting that has struggled to gain indie kid nods because of his emo roots. By 2005, Oberst had released 16 albums and EPs across five monikers. He was 24 years old. During Bright Eyes' more heartbreaker years, Oberst was stigmatized as a sensitive dude for girls; it was a stupid oversimplification that reverberated across a thousand Livejournals at the time. Ten years ago, Oberst shed the baggage and undertook a masterwork project that meant two independent, standalone LPs with different operating systems. One was folksy and featured Emmylou Harris, the other featured the fuzzy math of Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark's 1983 blueprint, Dazzle Ships. Both featured profound writing like, "the end of paralysis, I was a statuette. Now I'm drunk as hell, on a piano bench."

Photo via Todd/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

These kids reenacting the Best Picture nominees deserve their own Oscars

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Who needs the real Oscar-nominated films of 2015 when you can watch little kids reenact the best moments from each thanks to CineFix's YouTube channel?

Just like last year's offering, these pint-sized Pacinos pull off a range of performances, from heart-wrenching scenes between Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, and a plastic baby in American Sniper, to Martin Luther King Jr. enticing LBJ to his side during the Selma marches by promising Oprah Winfrey's participation. The clip's version of Boyhood is especially charming, helping the aging process mid-scene with a bit of faux stubble application.

As a late entry to the game, give that kid playing baby Stephen Hawking all the awards. Ever.

Screengrab via CineFix/YouTube

YouTube star Kid President might be coming to your school

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Kid President is hitting the road with his Guide to Being Awesome, and he's getting a little help from a famous YouTube power couple.

Kid President, also known as 11-year-old Robby Novack, is off on a very non-traditional book tour. Instead of endless stops at stores across the country, he'll be visiting elementary schools with special presentations. Since "Throw a Pop-up Art Show" is No. 60 in his guide, a partnership with The Art Assignment, John and Sarah Green's PBS-produced art series, seemed fitting. The Greens created exclusive video content for the schools, aimed to inspire and empower students to create their own art.

Lucky students will be invited to participate in a pop-up art installation called "Movement Telephone" on the tour, which kicks off today. By adding Art Assignment elements to his tour, the Kid President team will expand beyond just introducing young people to inspiring leaders and creators. They'll empower kids to become ones themselves through practical purposes, in true Kid President fashion.

Screengrab via SoulPancake / YouTube


Spotify's predictions for the 2015 Grammys

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Last year, Spotify's Grammy predictions were fairly accurate, with the streaming site's data for 2013 correctly predicting three of the night's biggest winners. The awards show also had some unintended consequences for artists on Spotify. 

It's not just the Grammys that can send a signal boost: Missy Elliott's post-Super Bowl Spotify surge shows just how important these events can be to music discovery. This year, in addition to predictions based on the listening habits of its 60 million users, the company is assessing "dark horse" picks, based on virality. 

According to their data, the most streamed song of the year was Sia's "Chandelier," followed by Sam Smith's "Stay With Me," Meghan Trainor's "All About That Bass," Hozier's "Take Me to Church," and Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off." This last song is a bit of a playful jab at the singer: Swift famously pulled her catalog from Spotify last year, and asterisks next to the album on the press release are followed by a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. 

Ed Sheeran landed the most streamed album of the year for X, followed by Sam Smith's In the Lonely Hour, Pharrell Williams' GIRL, Beyoncé's self-titled, and Beck's Morning Phase. Smith was also tapped to win Best New Artist. 

Their dark horse pics? Sia for Record of the Year, Williams for Album of the Year, Bastille for Best New Artist, and Hozier for Song of the Year. We can only hope the real dark horse is going to be Weird Al

Photo via Side Stage Collective/Flickr (CC BY ND 2.0)

Jimmy Fallon and friends photobomb Super Bowl attendees

Jeff Bridges invaded my dreams after I listened to his sleep tapes

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I sat in a harshly lit diner, alone. I'd never been to this restaurant before, but the wood-paneled walls and bright orange tables still felt familiar. There was someone clattering around in the kitchen, but I couldn't see their face. Outside the diner, the ocean was lit by an impossibly bright moon, one that took up half the slate-colored sky. 

Someone was slowly lumbering up the path from the ocean to the diner, wearing full-body armor from the chest down that glittered in the moonlight. When I looked back, the mysterious beach knight was sitting across from me, sporting a man bun and comically oversized sunglasses. 

"Stop," he said, his drawl familiar. "Stop and look up or you'll miss it."  

I looked up, and then the knight was gone. Jeff Bridges made me look. 

During the Super Bowl, Web design company Squarespace aired a commercial featuring Bridges chanting a couple to sleep. This aimed to promote its new project with the actor, titled simply Sleeping Tapes. It's modeled as a 15-song tape, complete with A and B sides, and Bridges talks, chants, and hums in an effort to send you off to sleepyland, or at least relax you. You can download the album for free, or make a donation to No Kid Hungry, for which Bridges is the national spokesman. 

For the last two nights, I tried to fall asleep listening to the tapes. The first night, Super Bowl Sunday, my brain was too chaotic to really let go and dive in. But last night, the Dude arrived. I think. 

As weird as this idea is, it's still a branded project with an ad firm and well-known face behind it. Squarespace founder and CEO Anthony Casalena told the Daily Dot they "worked with Wieden+Kennedy NYC as our creative partner, who led the creative development of the idea. Jeff was really drawn to the tapes idea, and added a lot to the project. He had major input on everything in the project and added a lot. All parties really give a lot to this project. Wieden brought the idea together and helped with art direction, we helped with site design, Jeff enlisted help from some of his friends to assist with creative and mastering. I’m really proud of what we were able to pull off together."

So has Casalena nodded off while listening to Bridges talk about being shot into space?

"While I haven’t fallen asleep to them, I’ve listened to them many times over," he said. "I absolutely love them. My favorites are 'Ikea' and 'Temescal Canyon.'"

Sleeping Tapes's introduction is a rambling exploration of sleep and recorded tapes and the past and the future, as Bridges fumbles around for meaning. ("Everything implies everything else," he offers. "I hope you dig the sleep tapes.") The next few songs are fairly chill: "Hummmmmm" is just Bridges doing that for two minutes. On "See You at the Dreaming Tree," Bridges describes meeting his daughter in his dreams. On "A Glass of Water," he talks about how waking up to drink water at night is good, because you can see the patterns moonlight leaves on the floor, man. 

On "Ikea," he explains how he's going to be shot into space after he dies, and orbit the Earth forever. (I'd also watched Insterstellar before bed recently, and I think there was a subconscious McConaughey/Bridges man-bun mashup happening in the dream.) The 11-minute "Temescal Canyon" imagines a hike up the titular canyon "in our minds," as Bridges huffs and puffs up the hill, pointing out a hawk, or maybe a crow, flying overhead. 

"I don't know," he says. "It's majestic though, isn't it? Makes you wish you had feathers. If you want, we can pretend to be crows." 

It was during this song that I believe I drifted off and imagined meeting knight Jeff Bridges in my mind diner. 

(On the site, there's also a behind-the-scenes video in which Bridges explains how he recorded the sounds for the album. I never thought I'd see the day when Jeff Bridges was teaching me how to design a website.)

The flow of the album isn't exactly conducive to drifting off, at least not like some of the more hypnotic sleep videos you can find on YouTube. There's a lot of background noise. When you're listening to it, you're listening to Jeff Bridges. You're envisioning Jeff Bridges (with a man bun, apparently). It's hard to untangle that voice and Bridges' movie work from the unconscious mind. It's hard not to imagine the Dude. 

It's an interesting experiment, however; besides, say, Benedict Cumberbatch or Helen Mirren, I can't think of another actor more suited to intentionally lull someone to sleep. I still don't know what he was trying to show me, but I'll look for you in my dreams tonight, man.    

Photo via Squarespace 

Kickstarter to fund Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan museum

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The potato salad Kickstarter campaign of 2015 has arrived.

Inspired by an oddly configured new apartment, and a documentary streaming on Netflix, Brooklyn roommates, Matt Harkins and Viviana Olen have decided to convert their long hallway into the Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan 1994 Museum.

If you think it's a joke, it isn't. The two fully intend to blow up pictures documenting the 1994 incident and its aftermath and hang them in their hallway. They’ve already surpassed their modest goal of $75, and have confirmed that the museum is a go.

The Kickstarterpage explains that a couple of weeks after moving in together Matt and Viviana watched 30 for 30: The Price of Gold, and quickly realized that “[t]heir hallway would be the perfect place to house a museum dedicated to the 1994 American incident and the response. They were honestly pretty shocked there wasn't one already.”

The team has given this project serious consideration. Some of which include its discovery that Harding and Kerrigan represent dueling archetypes:

“Part of the museum team's research has been the realization that everyone is either a Tonya or a Nancy (if you're thinking about it, you're a Tonya. This of course is made more confusing by the fact that if you immediately thought you were a Nancy, you are most definitely a Tonya. The only real way to be a Nancy is to have very long lines in your body. If you thought you were an Oksana Baiul, well, aren't you just perfect, WE SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU).”

The campaign is accepting backers through March 5 and is replete with a variety of brilliantly named rewards levels.

Screengrab via 30 for 30: The Price of Gold/Netflix 

These drunk ex-pastors host the Web's most exciting show about booze and God

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A couple times a week in the Pacific Northwest, a Web developer and a used car salesman sit down with drinks and talk about God. These are Christian Kingery and Jason Stellman, best friends of 25 years, hosts of a podcast called Drunk Ex-Pastors.

Their conversations, occurring with that casual rhythm that comes after so many years of easy friendship, are permeated with religious content that serves as a springboard into other topics, from the polarizing and political to the hilariously irreverent. After all, these guys have been friends since high school. For a podcast with the word “pastors” in the title, there are a lot of dick jokes.

Stellman, now a practicing Catholic, and Kingery, now agnostic, come from a religious fellowship called Calvary Chapel, a church born out of the Jesus movement in the 1960s. The church is effectively nondenominational, with over a thousand assemblies around the world. “As far as megachurches go, they’re one of the better ones,” Stellman told the Daily Dot. “They emphasize good things, and it’s not about money and all that. They’re also very insular, closed off, and unaware of the rest of the Christian church around them.”

Kingery and Stellman both spent time in Hungary spreading the Christian message, but in his 14 years since leaving Hungary, Stellman said, he got “grumpy, and really into theological fights, proving people wrong. That’s a very negative expression of Christianity. My beliefs only felt legitimate if there was a mortal enemy crusading against them.”

“Our conversations were so much better back then,” said Kingery.

Stellman’s conversion to Catholicism sent some ripples throughout his religious community. “In the small little world of conservative protestantism, my transition into the Catholic church caused upheaval,” he said. “To this day, two and a half years later, there are websites where they bash me and mock me.” This notoriety almost certainly helped build the initial audience for the pair’s podcast.

Kingery’s arrival at agnosticism was hardly as high-profile. “My environment was very focused on thinking about God all the time, memorizing scripture, it was my whole life up until 2000 or so. In 2000, I was a pastor in Hungary and my life went that way even more so. I moved back to the States was when I realized life didn’t have to be like that.” Kingery’s loss of faith was “a gradual thing. Now I see Christianity as another religion, maybe one of the better ones, but not necessarily the one.”

This kind of casual and upfront honesty is par for the course when it comes to the friends’ podcast. They create the safest of conversational spaces and use it to dissect all order of topics while a growing audience listens in. A conversation that starts with the asinine death of Eric Garner might end with the Big Bang, but only after taking a trip through transubstantiation, the belief the bread and the wine used in religious communion is in actual reality the body and blood of Jesus Christ. It’s tremendous.

“You know, the more people we have listening, the more people will disagree with us.”

“But we’ll also have more people agreeing with us.”

In their real lives away from the podcast, Kingery is a Web developer at an accounting firm and Stellman is a used car salesman, a job he came to after being let go from a software company. “I realized I needed to find something steady. A good friend of ours had been a salesman, he liked it and made good money, so I picked his brain. Eventually I drove to the dealership and got the job,” he said. “It doesn’t pay the bills at all.”

“But it’s great fodder for the podcast,” said Kingery.

Stellman and Kingery hope to eventually find a way to do the podcast on a full-time basis. While they share the occasional moan and groan about their day jobs, it’s clear that their hearts are truly in creating deep, meaningful content to be shared with others over the Internet. “We both have so many ideas that would require much more time,” Stellman said. “We’re already selling shotglasses. We’d love to do a coffee-table-style book of stupid quotes from us. We’re experimenting with doing two podcasts a week. If we can’t find a way to monetize responsibly, then we suck as marketers.”

Kingery jumped in: “If we can’t do it responsibly, we’ll do it irresponsibly.”

Until such a time as the podcast can earn enough money for the pair to support themselves, they seem perfectly happy to continue surfing an epistemological wave with any and all podcast listeners who want to join in. And that audience is growing, much to the pair’s nervous delight.

“You know, the more people we have listening, the more people will disagree with us,” said Kingery.

“But we’ll also have more people agreeing with us,” said Stellman.

Illustration via Drunk Ex-Pastors

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