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CeeLo deletes Twitter account after tweeting his insane definition of rape

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Curious about the distinction between consensual sex and non-consensual sex? Well, obviously the first person you’d ask to clarify this question is singer and The Voice judge CeeLo Green, who took to Twitter on Sunday to share his thoughts on what constitutes rape. And his argument is...well, it’s about as rational as you’d expect from someone who regularly dresses like a Muppet BDSM enthusiast.

On Friday, Green pled no contest to charges that he slipped ecstasy in a woman’s drink without her consent in 2012. The woman later woke up in Green’s bed with no memory of what had happened, though his lawyers allege that the two had consensual sex.

Green, who was not charged with sexual assault due to lack of evidence, was sentenced to three years probation and 45 days of community service—a generous sentence for someone who allegedly drugged a woman against her will, but not generous enough for Green, who felt compelled to clear his name on social media with this string of odd tweets:

In his caps lock-riddled rants, he also stated that his no contest plea was not an admission of guilt: “so if I TRIED but did NOT succeed but the person said I DID then what really happened?” He also appealed to the consciences of rape victims: “People who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!!”

Naturally, Green’s attempt to carve out a revolutionary “it’s-not-rape-if-she’s-sleeping-at-the-time” legal defense didn’t really pan out. Following protestations from his followers, the singer deleted the offending tweets—”I will not allow that negative energy to loiter on my timeline,” he tweeted—before deleting his account altogether. (As of this writing, it has not been put back up.)

According to BuzzFeed, however, he did tweet an apology before deleting his Twitter account:

“Let me 1st praise god for exoneration fairness & freedom! Secondly I sincerely apologize for my comments being taken so far out of context.”

“I only intended on a healthy exchange to help heal those who love me from the pain I had already caused from this. Please forgive me as it..”

“…was your support that got me thru this to begin with. I’d never condone the harm of any women. Thank you.”

R.I.P. CeeLo Green’s short-lived career as an iconoclastic legal strategist. His timeline may be gone, but memories of his all-caps self-defense will forever stay with us.

H/T BuzzFeed | Screengrab via CeeLo Green/YouTube


YouTuber inadvertently films dead body on the street

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Warning: This article contains content that may disturb or upset some readers.

Most vlogs out there document the day-to-day minutiae of the vloggers behind the camera. For Canadian YouTube vlogger marcelstjean and his wife, another ordinary day of vlogging took an unexpected—and unfortunate—turn when they came across a dead body in the street.

En route to a rib festival in Severn, Ontario, the vloggers came across several visibly intoxicated men in the street; three of them were able to walk and stumble out of the shot; two others were lying motionless on the cold asphalt. Marcelstjean approached the pair on the ground, and while one responded to him, the other couldn't be woken up at all. It didn't take long for the worst suspicions to be confirmed: The man had died hours prior.

Out of respect for the deceased, marcelstjean censored his face.

Once the video was posted to Reddit, comments and opinions predictably rained down. While some felt that the content shouldn't have been uploaded, others not only thanked marcelstjean for sharing the video, but also commended the pair for remaining calm and collected during the ordeal.

"This is not messed up to put online - I think our politicians need to know that people DIE on our streets. I mean, that's messed up. We have self-driving cars, and people die on our streets. There are people who own multiple homes, and people die on our streets," YouTube user quietthomas commented.

Since uploading the footage Aug. 31, marcelstjean has not commented publicly on the matter.

Screengrab via marcelstjean/YouTube

Cookie Monster and John Oliver make the best newscasting duo

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Two unlikely newsmen are coming together to deliver the word on the news—many of them, in fact.

In a collaboration we could only dream of, Mashable brought Last Week Tonight’s John Oliver together with Cookie Monster. When they’re not delivering underreported stories and eating all the cookies, respectively, they co-anchor the news all about words with some help from an all-star supporting crew. If there’s a missing letter or a misused word—or even an old but still ongoing debate that needs time in the spotlight—W-ORD is on it.

It’s not a real newscast by any means, but people would watch it.

The outtakes might be even better than the original newscast, if you can believe it.

And that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Photo via Mashable/YouTube

LCD Soundsystem's James Murphy turns U.S. Open data into electronic music

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Think the U.S. Open is just about amazing arm muscles and primal grunts? LCD Soundsystem frontman James Murphy is trying to change how we engage with the tennis match by making music with its data.

IBM partnered Murphy with developer Patrick Gunderson for the U.S. Open Sessions, in which they record roughly 400 hours worth of music, using data coming in from matches and an algorithm, which translates between the music and tennis data. The latter’s data comes from different situations within the matches, like fault, point, and second serve. Murphy’s not actually writing the music; he’s just the conduit for probabilities. The project is organized via the IBM Cloud.

The music will be streaming in real time along with the matches, but you can listen to the music generated from past matches on the U.S. Open’s site. The music generated from this match between Serena Williams and Kaia Kanepi is actually pretty beautiful, like a lost Tangerine Dream B-side.

Murphy seems to be using his post-LCD Soundsystem time well: Earlier this year, he embarked on a project to turn the sounds of the NYC subway into music.

H/T Dazed Digital | Screengrab via IBM/YouTube 

Garfunkel and Oates explain how we're awful people when it comes to Facebook birthdays

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We face a lot of pressure on social media, but perhaps the pressure to wish someone happy birthday on Facebook is the most stressful. How well do you know them? Can you just text them? Did they wish you a happy birthday? Oh, the mind games.

Garfunkel and Oates just released a new song that addresses this very modern dilemma. “Happy Birthday to My Loose Acquaintance” is a short tribute to the “unattached cohesion that Facebook created” and how writing a birthday greeting with three exclamation points is a way “to keep our weak social tie with minimal maintenance.”

Perhaps there would be anarchy if these forced declarations stopped happening on Facebook, but at least Garfunkel and Oates are brave enough to address this epidemic.

Screengrab via IFC/YouTube

'Sleepy Hollow' publicists picked the absolute worst day to celebrate beheadings

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The news that another American journalist had been decapitated by the jihadist organization ISIS apparently didn’t hit the world of publicity campaigns quickly enough: A digital marketing agency called Think Jam, looking to generate buzz for the release of Sleepy Hollow’s first season on Digital HD, DVD, and Blu-ray, this afternoon sent out eCards celebrating “National Beheading Day.”

Sure, it's a TV show that features a supernatural villain with a very specific murderous M.O., but the promotion of the hashtag #HeadlessDay was ill-timed at best. 

Here’s the official mea culpa:

We apologize for the unfortunate timing of our Sleepy Hollow Headless Day announcement. The tragic news of Steven Sotloff's death hit the web as the email was being sent.

Our deepest sympathies are with him and his family, and we don't take the news lightly. Had we have known this information prior, we would have never released the alert and realize it's in poor taste.

Please accept our sincerest apologies.

As if the execution of Steven Sotloff weren’t bad enough, yesterday was marred by a New Yorker’s gruesome suicide via decapitation. Fortunately, the hashtag's use was still fairly limited as of 5:20pm ET, including just half a dozenSleepy Hollow tweets and one critique of the press release in question.

Photo by William Warby/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

YouTube's most popular channel disables comments for good

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Felix Kjellberg just got 30 million subscribers on his YouTube channel, and he’s celebrating by getting rid of what’s become the bane of his existence as a YouTuber.

The Swedish video game commentator, who goes by PewDiePie, has vented about the site’s commenting system before, and with many of his videos being watched millions of times, they’re full of the kinds of comments that give YouTube a terrible reputation. Despite any promises from YouTube about fixing the system, they’re still as terrible as ever.

Unlike the many women who constantly have to police (or disable) their comments for misogynistic retorts and threats, Kjellberg's main problem is spam. He spends a good chunk of his time going through the spam that appears on his videos almost daily, but he took a break from YouTube and social media while he went on a vacation because he wanted to make “sure it was a full holiday.” When he came back to his channel, he was met with so much of the spam he tries to keep off his channel that he couldn’t even find legitimate comments.

“I go to the comments, and it’s mainly spam, it’s people self-advertising, people that are trying to provoke, people who reply to all these… just all this stuff that, to me, it doesn’t mean anything,” he said.

The spam got to be so much of a hinderance that he couldn’t even communicate with his fans.

He previously disabled his YouTube comments to protest the amount of spam in the comments, but this time, he said it’s for good. He contemplated letting fans donate to charity in order to comment and suggested possibly using Reddit or Twitter to interact with fans, but it seems that he’s still trying to figure out what to do next.

Stay tuned.

H/T Kotaku | Photo via PewDiePie/YouTube

Tyler Oakley announces tour dates and podcast

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Tyler Oakley is expanding his entertainment prescence with two projects announced this September, a tour and podcast that he hopes will connect him more intimately with his fanbase.

While wrapping up his Auguest series of collaborations, the YouTube star told us last week that the new projects are the biggest he's ever attempted in his time on the medium. He took to his YouTube channel today with a formal announcement, first for a sleepover-themed tour that will bring him around the country, and eventually the world, to be face-to-face with his fans, who now number 5 million on YouTube and 3 million on Twitter. He also announced Psychobabble, a new podcast with best friend Korey Kuhl. 

So far only two dates are announced for the tour, in Michigan and Chicago, but Oakley promises more will be announced soon. Tickets range from $39 to $85 depending on the seats; his podcast is completely free and now available on iTunes.

Screenshot via Tyler Oakley/YouTube


Here's your new net neutrality anthem, complete with toilets

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When you think about net neutrality, you think about toilets, right?

A new song about the dangers of net neutrality is really driving home the point that our rights will be flushed down the toilet. This clip is by Thinkmodo, the same viral marketing firm that created the devil baby and telekinetic coffee shop pranks. They’ve now turned their attention from promoting horror movies to net neutrality, with a stop-motion video for the anti-net neutrality song, “Don’t Flush Our Rights Down the Toilet.”

An “Internet slow down day” is being planned for later this month, to show what certain sites might look like forever buffering. The FCC’s deadline for comments on the issue of net neutrality is Sept. 15. If you make it to the end of the clip, you'll see it's basically an ad for Thinkmodo's client, Namecheap, an Internet provider that's attempting to educate the public on the issue and push the toilet imagery on their site as well. 

It’s not exactly clear why toilets were used. Perhaps it’s a reminder that we might have a harder time streaming Netflix while we’re on the toilet. (Admit it, you’ve done it.)

H/T Fast Company | Screengrab via netneutralitysong/YouTube

Watch the trailer for 'True Trans,' Laura Jane Grace's new webseries

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Laura Jane Grace, lead singer of Against Me!, is one of the most visible transgender women in the world. Following the success of her band’s latest album, Transgender Dysphoria Blues, she’s now releasing a webseries called True Trans With Laura Jane Grace.

The 10-part documentary series will begin on National Coming Out Day, Oct. 10. Produced by AOL, True Trans sees Laura Jane Grace travel across the U.S., speaking with other transgender and genderqueer individuals about their experiences.

Grace told Time, “Getting the chance to listen to other people tell their stories of how life shaped their identities and views on gender couldn’t help but further inform my own understanding of just how complicated and also how simple all of it really is.”

The series also offers snapshots into Grace’s own life, including her relationship with her wife and daughter, and her work as a musician. Over the past two years she has been very careful about her public image as a high-profile transgender person, clearly aware that many fans see her as a role model and inspiration.

This new webseries seems like the next step in her evolution from musician to celebrity activist, with AOL describing True Trans as an effort to tell the stories of a community “whose experiences are woefully underrepresented and misunderstood in the media.”

Screencap via AOL

Dish Network appears to be readying its Internet TV service

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With its eye on the growing number of cord-cutters and young viewers, satellite provider Dish Network is moving forward with an Internet TV service, rumored to be called NuTv.

According to Gigaom, Dish’s online business arm has filed a trademark for the name NuTv, very possibly the name for its new streaming service scheduled to launch by the end of the year. The satellite provider has already inked deals with A&E Networks and Disney for spots on a new Internet-delivered TV service but pricing and other program providers have not been announced.

Of the major multichannel video programming distributors (cable and satellite services), Dish is the smallest with 14 million subscribers. DirecTV, the top satellite TV service, which is in the process of being acquired by AT&T, has more than 19 million subscribers. Comcast, the nation’s largest cable provider, will have more than 30 million subscribers if the proposed Time-Warner merger is approved.

With market consolidation and competition from alternative programming from Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, and others, the move into providing a traditional TV service to cord cutters, is a smart business decision for Dish. The success of NuTv, or whatever moniker the service takes on, will be dependent on price and which networks Dish is able to offer cord-cutters, many of whom are younger viewers and use services like Netflix and Hulu more than cable or satellite. A February 2014 IPSOS survey reported 89 percent of Americans aged 50 to 54 watch programming live on television, but only 72 percent among the 18 to 34 group do. Dish must carefully target its product to avoid undercutting its satellite TV service.

Dish Network is not new to the streaming TV business. In May 2012, it launched DishWorld, an Internet-based streaming service that features specialty networks such as Blue Ocean Network and Baby TV, as well as news, sports, and foreign films. The service is available through the Roku set top box, Samsung smart TVs, Slingbox and as an app available through Google Play. 

H/T Gigaom | Image via Dish Networks

No, HBO isn't resurrecting 'Flight of the Conchords'

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Sorry, fans of the fourth-most-popular folk duo in New Zealand: Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement, better known as the Flight of the Conchords, aren’t filming new episodes of their HBO series, which ended in 2009 after a flawless two-season run.

The confusion stemmed from reports that HBO had given the green light to another McKenzie-Clement collaboration. The as-yet-untitled project will comprise four episodes.

We eagerly await whatever the Conchords have planned, but if you’re still feeling jilted, try listening to a breakup song. You’ll get over it someday! 

H/T iHeart | Photo by Monik Markus/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Disney files opposition to Deadmau5's attempt to trademark his logo

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Giant mouse ears have been part of Deadmau5’s public image for years, but for some reason it’s taken until now for Disney object.

Deadmau5’s signature ear-hats do bear a certain resemblance to Mickey Mouse, but it’s difficult to imagine mistaking him for a Disney character. Also, after years of shows and public appearances where he wears some version of the mouse ears and mask, they’re probably more recognizable than Deadmau5’s actual face.

On Wednesday, Deadmau5 (real name Joel Zimmerman) tweeted, “landed home to some interesting news: looks like Disney officially just filed in opposition of my trademark... lawyer up mickey.” His attorney went on to tell TMZ that the Deadmau5 ear logo is trademarked in more than 30 countries, and that he applied for a U.S. trademark last year.

But according to Disney, Deadmau5’s not-quite-trademarked mouse ears could damage Disney’s business around the world. Needless to say, Deadmau5 was not impressed with this argument.

You can kind of see where he’s coming from on this one. A 33-year-old electronic music producer does not seem like a serious threat to a gigantic corporation best known for animated family entertainment—even if his hat does resemble one of their logos.

Photo via Wikimedia

Why Celebgate ate the Internet

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It would not be an overstatement to say that Celebgate consumed the Internet on Monday. The leak of dozens of hacked photos from female celebrities, such as Jennifer Lawrence, Kristin Dunst, Kate Upton, Rhianna, and Kim Kardashian, initially came through the anarchic message board 4chan, but quick spread across the rest of the Internet.

How much did people want to see the pictures? Well, here’s a screenshot of the Monday's top trending Google searches:

Google Trends Jennifer Lawrence Nude Pictures

In the United States alone, there were over 5 million people searching for Oscar-winner Jennifer Lawrence. Sure, some of those people may have been looking for info about the upcoming Hunger Games sequel, but it’s a safe bet that a good chunk of them wanted naked pictures. The search phrase right below the actress’s name, ‟The Fappening,” is the label given to the community on Reddit that quickly became the central hub for the leaked photos.

In fact, r/thefappening managed to go from not existing on Sunday to accumulating over 119,000 subscribers on Tuesday morning. To say that it was the fastest-growing subreddit of the past 30 days wouldn’t do it justice. The second fastest-growing new subreddit over that period only racked up around 5,000 subscribers—and that one had been around for weeks rather than days. Over a 24-hour period, the subreddit was racking up 72 new followers every minute.

R/thefappening was attracting so much traffic on Monday, over 9 million unique pageviews in all, that Reddit spent most of the day experiencing intermittent outages. Anyone attempting to log onto Reddit was basically out of luck.

While the Celebgate photos attracted a massive amount of interest, a chorus of commentators loudly insisted that the theft of the images was a massive violation, and either viewing or sharing them online was tantamount to sexual harassment or assault.

In an op-ed that captured the overall sentiment of many who reacted with instant revulsion to the leaks, a writer for the Australian website Daily Life charged:

If you deliberately seek out any of these images, you are directly participating in the violation not just of numerous women’s privacy but also of their bodies. These images—which I have not seen and which I will not look for—are intimate, private moments belonging only to the people who appear in them and who they have invited to see them. To have those moments stolen and broadcast to the world is an egregious act of psychic violence which constitutes a form of assault.

And yet, millions of people looked. It was trove of naked pictures of famous people suddenly released on the Internet—the desire to look at them is the most natural thing in the world.

At least, until you really start to think about it. Then, the whole thing goes a little sideways.

At its most basic, Celebgate is just a bunch of pictures of naked people onto the Internet. The Internet is already packed to the brim with pictures of naked people. Sure, the leak was full of pictures of attractive naked people, but the Internet has thousands upon thousands of websites exclusively devoted to people who look so good naked that they’re able to do so professionally.

It could be argued that what made Celebgate so interesting was the violation. These are candid shots. Unlike the sea of professional pornography, they weren’t created for mass consumption. They’re intimate and therefore, less cynical. However, as the epidemic of revenge porn as made abundantly clear, this isn’t particularity novel either. 

So, what accounts for 5 million people in the U.S. alone desperately scouring the Internet to find these photos? Or the 9 million people around the world that logged into r/thefappening?

One of the best explanations comes from an unlikely source: an essay written nearly 35 years ago, before anyone but even the most forward-thinking computer scientists had even heard of networked computer, about the pernicious influence of an entirety different medium.

In the fall of 1980, the New Yorker dedicated an entire issue to a single essay, ‟Within the Context of No Context,” by writer George Trow. Trow, who cut his teeth satirizing pop culture as an early writer for National Lampoon, penned a dizzying, impressionistic analysis of how television simultaneously isolated individuals and infantilized American culture. Trow’s arguments may be couched in a WASP-y reactionary elitism, but his insights into how people interact with the culture at large—and celebrity in particular—have remained just as relevant and insightful over the ensuing three decades since its publication.

Trow explained that the best way to think of a person’s life is to view it as a pair of grids mapping their interactions with others. The first grid is intimate, comprised of friends and family members. The second grid is national, connecting every single person in the country through a shared culture. As people stopped going out into their communities and participating in things like bowling leagues and social organizations, opting instead to sit at home and watch TV, their intimate grids started to shrink as their dependence on the national grid grew accordingly. ‟It was sometimes lonely in the grid of one, alone,” Trow wrote. ‟People reached out toward their home, which was in television. They looked for help.”

Famous people, on the other hand, have a much different experience. ‟Celebrities have an intimate life and a life in the grid of two hundred million,” Trow explained. ‟For them, there is no distance between the two grids in American life. Of all Americans, only they are complete.”

However, that ‟completeness,” as Trow labels it, comes at a cost—issues that, for normal people, would only be discussed across their personal grids are nationalized because a celebrity's grid is also national. If you or I were to get wildly drunk at a party, doing something that could be charitably labeled ‟moronic,” information about it would only spread across our small, intimate grids—unless, of course, a video of what happened ened up on YouTube.

For celebrities, from whom both grids are effectively merged, information about the party could spread to everyone connected to the larger grid, which is basically everyone. This spread, at least in 1980, was facilitated by gossip magazines like People, for which Trow seemingly has endless scorn:

What is the function of...People? It is to unite, for a moment, the two remaining grids in American life—the intimate grid and the grid of two hundred million. This is discussing the intimate life of celebrities who have their home in the grid of two hundred million and by raising up to national attention certain experiences of Americans as they live, lonely, in the grid of intimacy.

Trow didn’t view the gossip of his time as particularity interesting or authentic. It was pre-packaged to best appeal to advertisers selling products that were, quite often, the celebrities themselves.

The Celebgate leaks are essentially celebrity gossip taken to its logical extreme. The nude photos are the manifestation of the affected celebrities’ intimate grids merging with the national grid of pop culture. Only, this time, the images were released without an intermediary reformatting and repositioning them in such a way that they’d sell the most ads for shoes or the upcoming summer blockbuster.

On one hand, looking at the leaked photos is akin to someone coming across a sexy photo of a coworker on an Internet dating site. The natural inclination is to look, but lusting over a coworker can come with an pang of guilt that, likely for most people viewing them, didn’t occur with the Celebgate photos. That’s because the context in which most people relate to these celebrities is essentially performative; we’re used to looking at them on camera, effectively as product. This familiarity obscures the fact that looking is still looking and people are still people, no matter how many Oscars they have on their mantlepiece.

Asking people not to look is futile. The millions of people who sought out the photos on Monday, and will likely continue to seek them out, are evidence of that futility. Will looking make anyone less isolated or give anyone more insight into anything? Or is the ultimate result just that a bunch of young women had their privacy violated by millions of people who didn’t even give a moment's serious consideration to what they were doing?

Trow died in 2006, so he’s not around to proffer his opinion. But, it’s probably safe to say that his answer wouldn’t be an optimistic one.

Photo by Michell Zappa (CC BY SA 2.0) | Remix by Jason Reed

Linkin Park sounds better with Frank Sinatra as a frontman

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Your least favorite song could be fixed simply by moving it to the style of your favorite singer, a theory Ten Second Songs tests with its inventive cover mashups that showcase 20 different styles of a single track in one video. Their latest tackles Linkin Park's "In the End," transforming it into a Boyz II Men ballad and a Frank Sinatra classic, among other styles.

Ten Second Songs is the brainchild of Anthony Valbiro, a New York-based songwriter who has spent years developing custom jingles and songs for businesses. When his inventive take on Katy Perry's "Dark Horse" went wild on YouTube to the tune of more than 10 million views five months ago, it opened up a whole new artistic avenue for Valbiro. He began to take on more creative musical interpretations on his YouTube channel, covering modern and classic tunes that stretch his vocal abilities.

In his most recent Linkin Park version, Valbiro duets with himself to stretch "In the End" to a variety of styles, from Bob Marley to Daft Punk. The nu metal and rap rock band is already known for bending genres and bringing various styles to the mainstream, so to see the band's music bent on itself is a treat.

Screengrab via Ten Second Songs/YouTube


Netflix snags syndication rights to 'Gotham' before it even premieres

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With the growing popularity and financial success of streaming, on-demand networks such as Netflix, the market for television programming has evolved from friendly competition to blood sport.

Netflix is determined to alter the traditional approach to network development and syndication by not only creating its ownoriginalshows but also by securing the rights to television series it feels will appeal to its growing audience. To that end, two weeks before it debuts on network TV, Netflix has purchased the rights to Gotham, a Fox program that is a prequel among the Batman familyof films and TV shows.

Netflix’s pact with Fox comes on the heels of a deal the on-demand network made in late August with Sony Pictures to buy the rights to season one of The Blacklist which will launch its second season on NBC Sept. 22. Industry sources said the deal was for $2 million per episode. That deal, the most lucrative for an on-demand service to date, eclipsed the previous $1.35 million per episode Netflix paid for AMC for The Walking Dead.

Prior to the advent of streaming TV networks, the syndication business was largely limited to cable networks and local TV station buyers, who traditionally purchased programming after 100 episodes or five years of airing. With the entry of Netflix, Hulu, Crackle, and others, an unbounded seller’s market for has emerged for shows that have a particular appeal to young audiences. In a typical week, for example, The Blacklist dominated its timeslot with a strong 2.8 Nielsen rating among adults 18-49. And anything related to Batman has the Midas touch: The last two films in the Christopher Nolan Batman film trilogy—The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises—each grossed more than $1 billion with a huge appeal to young audiences. Early reviews of the new Gotham series have been favorable.

Netflix is on track to build a network of diverse programming. In addition to its licensing deals, the streaming service will launch a new late-night talk show featuring Chelsea Handler in 2016 along with original productions including Marvel action drama, Daredevil, a sci-fi series Sense8 and Narcos, a series based on drug kingpin Pablo Escobar.

H/T Uproxx | Screengrab via Fox.com

If Reddit had a movie studio, this would be its logo

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Enough people visit Reddit on a daily basis that the site has inspired gifted artists to create unique projects based on repeated content. For example, there is no shortage of upvote (or downvote, for that matter) GIFs.

Redditor HAEC_EST_SPARTA decided to unleash his inner graphic designer and create a flawless YouTube video that redditors and non-redditors alike can use in their daily interaction. After all, it conveys the common thought far better than merely hitting three keyboard keys.

This is even better than the reimagined Fox intro that was placed in front of The Simpsons Movie in 2007.

Needless to say, redditors were quite pleased with HAEC_EST_SPARTA's efforts.

"I'm sure this will appear all over reddit in the coming months, nice job. Gold for the effort alone," redditor GameStunts said.

"If the accompanying song didn't play in your head and finish at the exact right moment, you are not from this planet," redditor jworsham said.

In other words, no one was posting this in response.

For now, we can only imagine the movies that would come out of HAEC_EST_SPARTA's studio, but maybe an enterprising redditor will get to work on a full-length film next.

Screengrab via haec est sparta/YouTube | Illustration by Jason Reed

Andrew W.K. wants to party hard with your kids

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Andrew W.K. is many things: Rocker. Party animal. Advice columnist. But a children’s TV host?

It may seem like an odd gig for man most famous for his bloody-nosed album art and “Party Hard” mantras. But Disney-owned Maker Studios is rolling the dice with the manic musician and putting him at the center of a new six-part family series called Meet Me at the Reck, which premieres on Maker.tv on Saturday, Oct. 4.

In the series, which was filmed at a neighborhood rec center in the Echo Park section of Los Angeles, a group of children will accompany W.K. and a diverse array of special guests as they explore creative ways to use their imaginations. Among those slated to appear on the series are comedian Jack Black, YouTube stars Joseph Garrett (Stampylonghead) and Mary Gutfleisch (Mary Doodles), pro skateboarder Eric Koston, and NASA scientist Michael Meacham.

You can watch a trailer for the series below, which ambitiously declares itself to be “Sesame Street for the digital generation.”

This actually isn’t Andrew W.K.’s first foray into children’s television; he also hosted Cartoon Network’sDestroy Build Destroy from 2009 to 2011. That show’s theme of blowing things up seemed better suited to W.K.’s over-the-top, rock ’n’ roll persona. But despite being acquired by the Walt Disney Company earlier this year, Maker Studios has continued to produce edgy yet kid-friendly content likeEpic Rap Battles of History, so maybe Mr. Party Hard will fit right in on Maker.tv.

“Hosting Meet Me at the Reck was so much fun for me,” W.K. said via a press release. “It's a very advanced party time with some very advanced party friends!” See? Kids know how to party, too. They just (hopefully) don’t have to bloody their faces to do it. 

Photo courtesy of Maker Studios

Funny or Die parodies 'Divergent' with all-star cast

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To paraphrase typical film trailer speak, “In a world where comedy is the message, no topic is safe or sacred.”

Or so believes Funny or Die. In its latest movie promo spoof, Snackpocalypse, one of filmdom’s new young stars, Chloë Grace Moretz (Kick-Ass) takes on sci-fi thriller Divergent using a school’s battle between junk food snacks and healthy goodies as the plot tension. Moretz is the reluctant heroine who attempts to save her classmates from a slovenly, lethargic future by taking on the healthy food snack machine with a crossbow to unleash its nurturing goodness.

It’s not one of Funny or Die’s more classic skits, as it drags on a bit, and unless you are familiar with the nuances of the Divergent plot, Snackpocalypse comes off as an off-base lampoon of either The Walking Dead or The Hunger Games. Come to think of it, perhaps The Hungry Games would have been a better (or at least punnier) title for this video.

First Lady Michelle Obama has a predictable cameo at the end of the clip. Seems like the First Lady’s one-woman-campaign to inspire healthy eating is a bit tired five and a half years into her husband’s term.

Screengrab via Funny or Die

Can Allison Williams pull off being Peter Pan?

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We’ve now officially seen Girls star Allison Williams as Peter Pan, and “boy” does she look the part. But how will she sound? You can find out tonight in the livestream premiere of a movie musical she co-starred in—four years ago. 

Williams posted this photo on Instagram Wednesday morning of her official Peter Pan ensemble, complete with spandex shorts, brown boots, and the famous short ’do. Williams said she actually wanted to cut her hair for the part, but costumers insisted she strap on a wig instead.

Williams has been busy getting ready for the Dec. 4 premiere, including taking flying lessons. But it hasn’t been an easy ride for the actress. Ever since it was announced that Williams would helm NBC’s latest live TV musical, there’s been doubt whether she could step into the fairy-dusted shoes graced by the likes of Cathy Rigby and Mary Martin.

Martin, the original singing Peter Pan, also famously reprised the role of Maria von Trappe—a part that Carrie Underwood underperformed during NBC’s live performance of The Sound of Music last year.

The biggest concern surrounding Williams, other than the accusations of nepotism over her recent stardom, is about her singing voice. Her few vocal trills as Marnie on Girls were sweet but average, definitely not enough to carry a live TV musical. Williams has said that it was intentional on her part, because she didn’t think the character of Marnie would make sense as a talented singer.

But Williams has had some other opportunities to let her vocals shine, including a full-length movie that debuts tonight. It’s the premiere of musician Kurt Hugo Schneider’s movie musical College Musical, which Williams co-starred in four years ago. It livestreams at 8pm PT on YouTube and will also be available on iTunes.

Schneider performed piano for a 2010 video that got Williams some notoriety, when she took rapper’s delight “Tik Tok” and turned it into a lounge ballad, à la Richard Cheese. That same year, she also sang in a live recording that combined the Mad Men theme song with Nature Boy, a song made famous by Nat King Cole and movie musical Moulin Rouge

In many of these YouTube videos, which were made well before her HBO debut, Williams’ voice carried a soft strength that could be a good match for the Boy Who Won’t Grow Up. She may not be the powerhouse that Peter Pan veterans like Sandy Duncan were, but she could have a better chance at success than Underwood did.

And for those who can’t wait until Dec. 4 to find out how Williams will do in a movie musical, there’s always College Musical.

Screengrab via Live Music Videos

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